oh my wow of wowness!

I can't even describe how crazy-awesome this is! Go Science! Go Medical Science! Go Human Bodayyyyy!

Have you heard about this guy who got the double-arm transplant? If not, Brendan Marrocco lost all four limbs during the Iraq War in 2009. About a month ago, they put some new arms on him. THAT HE CAN MOVE.

Yes, they attached human arms to him! He had a press conference and used his NEW arms to get himself into the room on a wheelchair.

Remember! These were arms he did NOT have a month ago! And he's using them now. HUMAN ARMS!

How is this not the most amazing thing ever?!

If it were me, I would have asked for one arm to be from a polar bear and the other to be a super-strong "transform-into-anything" robot arm.

Luckily, I don't have to think about anything like that. Mostly because the most dangerous thing I do is read comic books. Which could give me a paper cut, but not fancy robot arms.

I don't have much else to say about this. I just had to share, because, you know, HE HAS NEW HUMAN ARMS. The fact that we can actually do this literally blows my mind.

And no, you don't have to define literally and figuratively to me. I know what I said and I said what I meant and I meant what I said what I know. My mind has officially blown out. Possibly needing a robotic replacement. If one's available.

This is an amazing world we live in. For reals this time. Not like when I talk about the amazing softness from pillow technology. Which is cool, but boiling hot compared to the coolness of new human arm transplantationing.

I'm off to sit in awe of science.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

beetles of the caribbean

I have heard that sailors from ye olden days used the stars to navigate the world. In my head, all sailors from those days were also pirates. Because that's cool.

Therefore, anything that uses the stars to navigate is a pirate. Like the dung beetle. The PIRATE dung beetle!

Turns out they use the Milky Way to navigate their way around South Africa! People who study dung beetles (fun job) noticed that they use the moon and the sun to get directions. But what about those nights the moon is hiding? The Milky Way does the job!

They do a little dance to figure out where they are in the galaxy. The Milky Way is kinda like a dung disco ball for the beetles. Once they know where they need to go, they make a run for it! Dung beetles are very possessive of their dung balls.

Researchers grabbed a bunch of dung beetles and brought them to a planetarium. When they turned the Milky Way on, the beetles knew where to go. When they turned it off, they got lost and ended up in the Jupiter exhibit 2 floors down.

This was, literally, stinky for Jupiter. Since they now have to clean up dung balls not JUST in the planetarium room, but in the elevator and on Jupiter, too!

Of course, as pirates, the dung beetles were kind of ignored. Their "booty" (as pirates would say) was less a pile of gold and jewels and more a pile of dung.

They did have great galactic disco parties, though. Andromeda is totally jealous.

I'm off to disco under the Milky Way.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the celestial manatee

This makes me so happy.

Sadly, a star died. About 20,000 years ago. Luckily, it left a bunch of gas around it called a nebula. This nebula looks like a manatee!

Yes! The majestic sea creature!

Some people seem to think that W50, aka the Manatee Nebula, aka (by me) The Celestial Manatee, is just a fluke. That's not true for multiple reasons.

One: A fluke is a fish. Manatees are mammals.

B: That would imply this shape happened by accident. It did not. It's a sign from the heavens!

The Celestial Manatee is an adorable, peace-bringing creature teaching us to slow down and appreciate life!

Be curious! Try to learn about things! Unless those things are propelled-driven boats. Be less curious about those.

Sleep! Like, half the day! Then don't get TOO crazy moving around. Just graze a little.

The Celestial Manatee wants you to relax. That's why it came to our universe. It used its manatee-sense and found out that people are too busy and that the world is too hectic right now. It had to bring its manatee-based powers to us to save the world from...um...speeds over 5 mph.

Let's just hope there isn't a Celestial Propelled-Driven Boat nebula nearby. That would be bad.

I'm off to man a tea.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

national pie day

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned how much I love pie. That's a lie. I am sure I've mentioned it a lot. But I'm PRETTY sure I haven't mentioned National Pie Day! TODAY!

It is officially sanctioned by the (totally real) American Pie Council. There are celebrations going on all over the United States! There are places where you can get free pie! Get pie stickers! Even get your picture taken with a pie!

No time to get to those? The Great American Pie Festival is coming later this year! The American Pie Council does NOT mess around. They know that pie needs to be celebrated nationally and festivally.

Their website has pie recipes, ways to celebrate National Pie Day, AND pie merch!

I have decided to throw all my clothes away and buy ALL pie attire. I shall call it Haute (Apple Pie) Couture.

Even though I don't like apple pie. Well, I have yet to have an apple pie that I liked. There are officially 231 different varieties of apple pie logged in the council's archives. I will not rule out the chance that I will like 147 of them.

So please, have a pie party today. A pie-rty! Get all your pie-pals together and make pie! Then eat pie! Then make MORE pie! Then EAT more pie! Then recite the Pie Oath!

In pie-est day and crusty night,
No filling shall escape my sight,
Apple, pecan, and strawberry I bite,
Let's eat some pie, Green Lantern's light!

Okay...so I stole the oath from Green Lantern...and couldn't figure out a good way to end it. But still, Green Lantern loves pie, so I'm pretty sure it works. Instead of a power ring, I have a power pie.

I'm off to eat pie. Simple as that.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

secretary of the interior

I was reading some news this weekend and saw that Ken Salazar is leaving his post as the United States Secretary of the Interior.

I know what you're thinking. "Wow. That's really interesting. No, really, it is. Because...yeah-no, it's totally not."

Well stop thinking that! Did you know that Ken is the 50th USSOTI! He is! (That's his abbreviation. Like "POTUS" for President of the United States.)

Those are the things I learn when I read a story about something I know nothing about (which is everything)! I thought to myself, "What could the USSOTI possibly do? I mean, clearly, they do something about interiors."

NO! SO WRONG! They do NOTHING with interiors! When the world created White House secretaries, they decided that the name meant absolutely NOTHING with what they actually do!

The USSOTI oversees things like the Bureau of Land Management, the United States Geological Survey, and the National Park Service.

Notice a theme? They are all OUTSIDE! Shouldn't he be the Secretary of the Outterior? I mean, if the Interior is dealing with the Outterior, who is dealing with the Interior? Do they think it will interior itself?

Let me tell you, it will not! Interiors need a lot of work! They need to be fed and walked twice a day and if you're not mature enough for that responsibility, you should rethink your decision to become the Secretary of it.

Maybe that's why Ken is leaving.

Fun Fact! Did you know that the USSOTI is the 8th in line for president? It's true! So if there were 7 "accidents," Ken would be president.

It wouldn't look suspicious if they were all inside since he's OUTSIDE all the time! It's the perfect alibi!

I'm off to secretate the outterior.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

in the mood for food that's good

Make sure you say "good" like "food" and "mood." It's funner that way.

I sometimes think that I should start my own food blog. Not that anyone reads my non-food blog. And not that anyone likes any of the food choices I make. But, I do often write about my adventures in fooding because every new food experience is an adventure!

Sometimes it ends with a new favorite food. Other times...well...my tummy doesn't like me so much and questions my decisions.

I DID try some new things recently that I encourage you all to do. Today. And again tomorrow.

Apples and hummus! Not just ANY hummus. SUPER HUMMUS! I found this stuff the other day because I was looking to get into hummus. I know I've had it before and I've always liked it, but I never really kept up with it. We casually hung out, but I wanted to make us a little more BFFy. Luckily, I found Super Hummus.

I like to think that if Superman or The Hulk or Wolverine had a hankerin' for hummus, they would eat Super Hummus. Therefore, since I'm part super, I had to buy Super Hummus.

Now that I AM a regular hummuser, I decided to go off the vegetable path and try it with an apple. Bear with me, it gets a little complicated here. It tasted good...after the first few slices. See, the apple had to dry a little before it was good. It started too juicy and that didn't work well with the hummus.

As you may or may not know, I've been experimenting with peanut butter and honey. I love the combination of the two. I also love cinnamon. The word and the spice. One of my favorite things to say is "cinnamon in it."

Go ahead. Say it really fast. Fun, isn't it! I can't stop saying it! Cinnamoninit!

Now I CAN say it all the time! My mom suggested some honey AND cinnamon AND peanut butter on toast. Four of my favorite things combined! My mom is a genius. It is amazing!

And now, if I ever have company that wants a snack, I will make this for them. Wanna know why? I'll show you...

You/Guest: "This is great! How did you get toast to taste so fun?"

Me: "It has cinnamon in it!"

You/Guest: "CINNAMONINIT!"

As a bonus, I just found out that "Toast To Taste" is also really fun to say.

I'm off to toast to taste cinnamon in it.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

pictures on the door

I like rooms with pictures on the doors. I feel very ancient Egyptian. Like bathrooms. Instead of wasting a lot of space on the door saying "This is a bathroom for the male gender," or "This door opens the way to a bathroom for women," all they do is put a nondescript humanish thing on the door with either their hands facing straight down, for men, or their arms lifted a little due to a triangle-ish outfit, for women. (Yes, that was a long sentence.)

I would like triangley clothes. They seem comfortable. Sadly, I cannot find any. If I did, I still wouldn't go into the women's room.

A woman DID go into the men's room, though! JUST as I was walking to the sink, the door opened and an older lady walked in. She said, "Sorry, the other bathroom is closed."

She SAID sorry, but I could hear in her voice that she wasn't really sorry at all. Possibly because she had to go to the bathroom. Sometimes when I really have to go, I get cranky, so I won't hold it against her.

Perhaps the door should have a sign that says, "Men...and sometimes Women. If the other Women is closed."

In MORE bathroom adventures (it was a busy week!), I got to hear music in there! It's pretty common to hear people's phones go off while in the bathroom. So, sometimes I get to hear a minute of a song before going to voicemail.

Or, in some cases, before the guy in the stall answers it. Which is...their prerogative.

But it's VERY rare that I just hear music! Like, somebody in the stall listening to their playlist. Not a phone call. Just an "I'm-bored-so-I'll-listen-to-music" situation.

Maybe the gentleman was a little shy and wanted cover music. Which is fine. That's totally understandable.

Maybe the sign on the door should have a picture of musical notes on it. Just as a warning.

Or it could say "Men...and sometimes Women. If the other Women is closed. With the possible chance of music playing."

If I learned anything from ancient Egypt, all I'd have to do is have a picture of a guy and a gal with musical notes over their head.

Of course, I might think it's a discotheque and not a bathroom. And that would be cool to have down the hall, but not as useful. Even though ancient Egyptian discotheques were fun. They had disco pyramids instead of disco balls. It was awesome.

I'm off to put on a triangle.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

use the force to petition

Did you know that you can make a petition for ANYTHING?! Seriously! The government just lets you post it online and if you get 25,000 signatures, they have to respond to you!

Is it just me, or is this a great waste of the government's time? I mean, there have to be THOUSANDS of ridiculous petitions on there. And with people able to share things to millions of other people instantly, you can probably get 25,000 signatures before lunch time.

YES! Lunch time! Maybe not my lunch time because I eat lunch early. But normal people lunch. Like, 12pm EST. I generally eat lunch around 12pm EDT. No...wait...reverse that...I think.

I eat lunch early because I wake up early. Yeah. That's a simpler way to put it.

One person petitioned the government to make a Death Star. Just like the one from Star Wars. It got over 35,000 signatures. Therefore, we have to build one.

No...wait...I have that wrong. That means they have to RESPOND to it! And I encourage you to find the response because it's amazing. It's from Paul Shawcross. The (get ready, it's a long title) Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget.

Turns out it would cost $850 quadrillion. YEP! Quadrillion!

According to Paul, we have "a President who knows his way around a light saber." I mean, I saw pictures of Obama wielding a light saber, but I thought they were fake! Now I know they are real! And since he was riding a unicorn in one of those pictures, I also now know that unicorns are real and the President has a whole stable of them!

Sadly, there will be no Death Star. Paul says that we already have an International Space Station. Which doesn't blow up planets, but does allow us to float. Eh...I guess that's pretty cool.

I'm off to write a few (hundred) petitions.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

oh my gourd

If you're looking for the blood of a beheaded king, look no further than a gourd!

There is blood on a handkerchief that scientists believe belongs to King Louis XVI. That's 16th, if you don't read Roman Numerals. And you shouldn't. They're not really numbers. They're letters. Romans were lazy and figured letters were good for everything. They were wrong, no matter what any algebra teacher tells you.

Some family in Italy had a "souvenir squash" with the handkerchief in it.

Let me say that again...an Italian family had a "SOUVENIR SQUASH" with a HANDKERCHIEF in it.

Because that's not weird at all. It makes my collection of seashell-people collection seem totally sane.

The gourd was also engraved. (I'm totally not making any of this up.) It said, "On January 21, Maximilien Bourdaloue dipped his handkerchief in the blood of Louis XVI after his decapitation."

This is a commemorative gourd. With blood inside. That some guy decided to save. And a family kept as a souvenir.

Am I the only person disturbed by this?! I mean, really! Who does that?! This is not healthy behaviour!

Sorry about that "u." I sometimes spell things like I'm British. I could blame it on watching a lot of British TV, but that doesn't make sense because I don't actually see words, I just hear them. Sadly, I have no other excuse.

But I'm not concerned about it because I never kept a bloody handkerchief in a commemorative gourd. And knowing I never did that makes me feel like I can pretty much do anything and nobody can call me crazy.

Maybe this was normal in 1793, but I'm gonna say no. Just...no.

I'm off to engrave a squash. Order yours today. Cheap. Blood optional.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

orange you glad we're tasty

Want the tastiest hot chocolate ever? Put it in an orange mug! That's all you have to do! You could make it with dirt and it would still taste good!

Well...that last part might not be true. The rest is! For no reason at all, researchers in Spain and England did a test. They put the same hot chocolate in four different colored mugs. Cream, orange, white, and red. The inside of the mugs were all white.

Then people tasted the hot chocolate and most people said that it tasted bestest coming from the orange mug!

I don't know if this works with all food, but I'm going to jump to the conclusion that it does. Therefore, I'm going to open up a restaurant called "OraNgE." I played with the shift key to make it look trendy. Because trendy places make more money. Especially ones with biggle and little letters.

My trendy restaurant will be TOTALLY ORANGE. Everything. The chairs, the tables, the plates, the silverwar...NO! Orangeware! Oh...this is going to be brilliant!

All the food will be orange too! And no, I'm not going to ONLY serve carrots and oranges. Even though those are two of my favorite foods. Wait...ah! Even the food tricked my normally keen senses! They're both orange! No wonder I love them so much!

Nature knows how to make us eat orange things! That nature is a tricky fox.

To give people more choices, I will add orange colors to all the foods there! And you will order off an orange menu!

OH! And to get in, you must wear something orange! Another rule of trendy clubs is to have some sort of dress code. That makes you seem exclusive. And exclusivity makes people think you have something specialer than it really is. Hence: trendy.

Maybe I'll have orange jackets people can wear if they forget orange clothes. Or clothes in general.

There was once a song by the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion called Orange. Actually, it was a whole album. I really loved that album. It tasted gre...AH! Orange got me again! Wow! That's some good orange!

I'm off to get orangey.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

time to get a new clock

I had a clock. It ran on a battery. It was red. And it kept ticking!

I couldn't take it anymore. I used to love the ticking clock. Now I do not. I have gone all digital!

Maybe I'm getting old. Instead of having a constant reminder of the passage of time, I'd rather live in a realm where time may or may not actually be passing.

Theoretically, it isn't passing until I recognize its passing. Once I look at the clock, then I realize that time has gone by. But BEFORE that, time doesn't exist.

Is that too deep for me? Yes. Let's just say I didn't like the ticks.

OH! You know what else is annoying? My alarms! Not that the sound is annoying. It's supposed to be. To wake me up. But they never do!

I think I figured it out! I use four alarms to (sorta) wake up in the morning. Yes. Four. I won't hear them for 20 minutes or so. Do you know why? Because they don't stay on!

They all beep or buzz or twinkle for one minute and then go into snooze mode! What's up with that?! Who wakes up after one minute of noise? Ring for a minute, then snooze for 5? That doesn't make any sense!

I think I would only need one alarm if it stayed on until I hit snooze. Then alarm again until I turn it off! Don't just give up after one minute! That's just lazy!

I need the alarm because I'M lazy! Why don't they make unlazy alarms?!

I suppose it's not all bad. They don't tick. So that's cool. And maybe without the passage of time, having an alarm doesn't matter. Since, you know, I stop time and all.

Try that excuse on your boss. Let me know if it works.

I'm off to live in an undesignated frame of time.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

dinosaur meat

When dinosaurs return to the living, (That's right. WHEN. Because they will be back. IF they aren't back already???) which one would you eat?

That's what somebody tried to figure out. I found this article and it's awful! Dinosaurs should NEVER be eaten! They should be treated as equals!

IF you are curious, they say we would probably want herbivores. Because most of the meat we eat now comes from herbivores. And they make for a better meat.

Want good white meat? Try some armored dinosaurs.

Hadrosaurs would be good for red meat since they were on the move a lot.

But again, don't eat dinosaurs! If any dinosaur is reading this, I fully support your return to the world and would never eat you so you should make me a king of people-dinosaur relations.

Now, if dinosaurs return and are not intelligent enough to run governments (even though I'm hopeful they will be), then we should treat them like beloved pets.

Every day I would play fetch with my T-Rex. I would take my Apatosaurus for the best walks ever!

And I would ride my Triceratops all over town! Because Triceratopses LOVE going for a daily ride. They're like horses. Or unicorns. But with three horns. A tricorn.

I love this world of dinosaurs.

I bet they like getted petted and not eated. So we shouldn't eat dinosaurs. Ever.

I'm off to be a dinosaur king.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the loaner

I had to get my car fixed recently. There were some issues. I would explain to you what they were if I understood them.

I don't. I know there was a plug and a cap. Those were the only words I knew. The very helpful guy at the car place explained it to me many times. Each time I got confused.

Here's what I CAN tell you. My engine light came on. A lot. My car shook and shaked. And after the plug and the cap were both fixed, the light doesn't come on and there is less shakery.

During the car fixing time, I got to drive ANOTHER car! For a day! It was pretty awesome! They just gave this car to me! They totally trusted me with it!

This car didn't just come with regular car features. It came with extra "other people" treats! They left surprises for me.

I don't know if it's tradition to leave something in a loaner, but I left nothing. I didn't have anything fun to leave.

Somebody left 4 pennies. That was cool. Nothing fancy, but at least they left something.

There was also a round, pink tablet in the center cup holder. I have NO idea WHAT this pink tablet was. I didn't touch it. I just...stared at it. It looked like it had some sort of engraving on it, but it faded away.

It was like an ancient Egyptian artifact. I may never know what the pink tablet was truly meant for. I like to think it was for good luck.

There was also a picture for me! From Strawberry Shortcake. There was a picture of Raspberry Torte. Already colored in.

On the back of that, there was a maze! To get Strawberry to the Berry Bitty Boutique! The maze was NOT completed. I thought that if the next person who gets the car has a child, this will be a fun treat for them!

THAT is my gift in the loaner. I fought the urge to complete the maze so the next person could do it.

I'm very giving. I REALLY wanted to get to the Berry Bitty Boutique, too. They had some great hats and scarves.

Oh well. Maybe next time.

I'm off to rasp my berry.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj