big hole in one

A man named Mark King apparently decided that golf needed to be updated. And he updated it with bigger holes.

That’s right! Bigger holes! It’s called Big-Hole Golf! Instead of the tiny 4.25-inch hole, he made it a whopping 15 inches!

Apparently, there has been a huge decline in people playing golf. Probably because it takes too long and the hole is SO TINY. They figure that people waste about a third of their game on the green. Big holes make that part go much faster.

They also think it will attract more kids. Like when you lower the rim of a basketball hoop. Or start baseball by hitting the ball off a tee. (Or is that just Big-Ball Golf?)

I think this is a great idea. I used to play golf. It’s a pain. And it takes FOREVER. How am I supposed to binge-watch Adventure Time if I have to stand over a tiny hole all day?

Exactly! I can’t!

That’s part of the reason I don’t play golf anymore. The other part is that I STINK. Seriously. I do.

I was actually on the golf team in high school. When I say that, I don’t mean I got to play competitively. I didn’t. The coach knew better than to let me compete against another school. I just hit balls at the driving range. (Trust me, that was a smart move on his part.)

He also didn’t like me because I would show up late on Tuesdays. Because I played cello and we had orchestra practice on Tuesday after school.  I came in one day and he said, “Where were you? Playing piccolo?”

I just laughed and laughed! I mean, seriously! HA! He confused a woodwind instrument with a string instrument? HAHA! Comedy gold!

He clearly didn’t get the joke. Another reason why he didn't like me.

I’m off to putt in the key of C.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj