the cia museum may or may not exist

The CIA can neither confirm nor deny the fact that they have a museum.

Well, that’s not true. They do have one. But you can’t go there. Because it’s in the CIA compound and you aren’t allowed in.

So what’s the point of the museum?! I mean, seriously! I would museum that place like crazy!

Sure it’s all online for me to see, but that’s not nearly as much fun as being there!

Apparently, the CIA also has a gift shop. Not IN the museum. Just there. For you to buy stuff.

Now, I know I’m not even close to being qualified to deal with national secrets, but I mean, couldn’t you just move all the stuff from one spot to another spot maybe outside of the CIA building? Like, just outside of the compound and put the gift shop out there, too?

I mean, if all this stuff CAN be seen, why not let people see it? And put the gift shop at the end of the museum? THAT is how you get people. You make them exit through the gift shop.

Kids love junk like that. Like baby’s first Escape & Evasion Survival Kit. Or a Civil Air Transport Notepad/Diary. Or maybe a stuffed William J. Donovan Desk so the kids can cuddle at night with memories of memos from World War II.

I know they’re all about discretion, but should the museum be one of them? I would love a selfie with a Dynazoom. Post that on Instagram #CIA #secrets #centralintelligenceagenselfie #lookoutimaspy

I wonder if they need a curator. How sweet would that job be?! Nobody can go there, so what do I have to do? Dust a few things? Sweep once a week? Run around in a U-2 helmet and scare the pants off of spies from other planets?

Oh my…I want that job so bad right now!

I’m off to check the employment opportunities at the CIA.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

don’t buy that

I recently saw a list of things NOT to buy in 2014. It says things like GPS, because you probably have a similar app on your phone. And cable TV because you might save money streaming everything.

In the article, the second thing on the list was “landline service.” They talk about everybody going to mobile phones and stuff.

Then, as I was reading it, it said, “according to data released this month by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”

WHAT?! Why are they asking people about their phones instead of doing diseases preventions?!

I can’t find anything about them having an Office of Landline Phone Ownership on their website.

BUT! As luck would have it! I found out OTHER stuff about them!

The CDC has a museum! I bet you didn’t know that! They get special health-related exhibits and performances.

I don’t know about you, but this is getting me more excited than and a pet robot dragon.

Also…SUMMER CAMP!

What kid wouldn’t want to go to CDC Summer Camp?! I bet they wash their hands ALL THE TIME.

I wish I knew about this when I was in high school. I would have been there every year.

Instead of sports, we would clean offices. And instead of roasting marshmallows over a fire, we’d boil water to purify it.

“Fun” just took on a whole new meaning.

I’m off to view the CDC museum’s online exhibits.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj