politi-call me maybe

Okay, that title is genius. I'm willing to admit that. I feel very proud of it.

Well...it would be really even much funnierer if it was about getting calls on your phone-receiving mobile device.

It's not. I just thought it was a funny title. BUT! I am talking about politics a little bit.

Don't run away! I'm not actually talking about anything interesting! Don't worry!

So, I see these signs on people yards. With names on them. They say things like, "Vote For President Person! For America And Stuff!" Or something like that. I don't actually pay attention.

But see, those signs can't do anything to sway me! What's the point of them?! I mean, does anybody drive by a sign with a name on it and think, "WOW! Look at that beautiful lawn! So green and lush and pyhlled (get it?) with chloro! Lawns like that love Romney? Huh...I should vote for Romney!"

Or perhaps, "Those garden gnomes and pink flamingos clearly love Obama. I have been known to agree with gnomes AND flamingos on many of my political ideals. Clearly I need to change my vote to Obama!"

Now, admittedly, I have been known to be swayed by green lawns and pink flamingos. But garden gnomes? Really?

I never agree with silent letters. I always feel like they're hiding something.

I'm off to put a sign on my yard. (That's a joke. I don't have a yard.)

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

insider and outsider trading

So there's talk around Congress about insider trading. I don't know much about the law and the government and kangaroos, but I know that they all exist.

Okay, I'm not 100% on that, but I'm about 67% sure.

According the folks in Congress, they could get insider stock tips so they could make some big monies. But, insider trading is illegal. Except for them.

Since the law DIDN'T say they COULDN'T do it, they figured it was okay.

And THAT is my kinda logic!

Since there is no actual proof that unicorns don't exist, clearly they do! And since there is no actual law specifically telling me that I, personally, cannot take all the money from a bank, clearly I can.

OH! There is also no law that says all comic book companies are supposed to NOT give me comic books free for life, therefore they should be giving me comic books, for free, for life!

Because that's how the law works!

According to congress.

That is why I'm going to start my political career today.

Vote for me. I want to do everything you can't.

Thank you.

I'm off to start a PAC.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj