King Richard III Skeletor

King Richard III has been found! Well...his skeleton has been found. I know. That's super exciting. Because you were TOTALLY looking for it.

Well stop looking in Utah! It's not there! It's in London, silly! In a parking lot! Where Richard III parked!

The Richard III Society is very happy about this.

Oh, you didn't know there was a whole Society for Richard III? Well there is! They do tons of fun stuff! Like...read books...and other...things!

That book joke is funny because he lifted bans on books and printing presses. Go ahead. You can laugh now.

They also think that Richard III was a good guy and that the Tudors spread super-mean rumors about him. They hope that finding his skeleton will help prove those rumors wrong. Because...you know...skeletons are great at talking...about Tudor tabloids...and reading books!

They did a bunch of tests to prove that this skeleton was, in fact, Richard III.

The best test? They have the 17th great-grand-nephew of the King's sister around for a DNA test!

He makes cabinets. If I were him, I would totally use my lineage to impress people.

Me: "Hey. I make cabinets."

You: "That's lame."

Me: "And I'm the 17th great-grand-nephew of King Richard III's sister."

You: "Mildly less lame."

Score.

I'm off to be mildly less lame.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

getting ossified

Did you ever have one of those days where something just keeps popping up over and over and over again? That happened to me the other day. With the word "ossified."

I know! Of all the random things! Nobody even USES that word! Like, ever! It's a great word!

Ossify means "to turn into bone or harden like bone" or "to become inflexible in habits or opinions." Basically, you become stubborn in your ways.

Or you turn into bone. Which is cool, too. That would be helpful if you could harden like bone if somebody was trying to hit you. It would probably hurt their hand. Then they would run away and cry. From the ossify.

It's like they always say in the world of sportology, "The best defense is a good ossifence!"

I heard this word being used all over the place for a bunch of different things! It was so weird. I didn't know if it meant something. Like, maybe my bones were messed up. Or maybe I could grow new bones. Or maybe a skeleton would show up at my door selling bones.

None of those things happened.

How come we never do movies about skeletons? Vampires and zombies are very popular. When is it time for the skeleton to shine?!

There are some very famous skeletons in history who would love to see the skeleton back in our popular cultures. And maybe even our milk cultures. Or throat cultures...if you're sickish.

Skeletor. The Red Skull. Ghost Rider. Stalfos.

The time for the skeleton is now! Rise, my skeleton army! RISE!

I'm off to get ossified.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj