that was an odd day: part two

We now return to the strange day I had at the "Large Sometimes Vowel" store. After seeing the child MAYBE stealing toys, I left the store.

I went into the parking lot where people were driving on the wrong side of the road! Now, if they were British, that can be forgiven. If not, I have no idea what was going on.

Parking lots are SCARY places! SO MANY CARS! I am amazed that I don't die more often in them. (But just in case, I have many lives available because I collected many 1-Ups.) Luckily, even with the large amount of automobiles AND not-correct-side-of-the-road driving, I made it back to my car without a single death.

FINALLY! The strangeness ended with a family showing their dog some equidae! Near my store is a stable. A few horses and (what I think is) a donkey live there. I'm sorry, I wasn't raised in a barn, so I don't know animals very well. Also, I close the door.

I saw a car pulled over with a guy pointing at a horse behind the fence. At first, I thought, "That's cute. A dad showing his baby horses! That is fun for all!"

NOPE! It was a guy showing horses to his small dog! I am not the owner of pets. But I'm totally cool with people treating their pets like children. Buying them stuff and everything. But is this dog REALLY going to get anything out of this lesson? Isn't that a little TOO much? I mean, you try to teach babies to recognize animals because that could be useful later in life. But a dog?

Example with a baby:

Dad: "Look! A horsey! Can you say horsey? What sound does a horsey make?"

Baby: "Bbbbbbbbbbbbb."

Dad: "Good job!"

Example with dog:

Dad: "Look! A horsey! Can you say horsey? What sound does a horsey make?"

Dog: "Seriously. I'm a dog. I go 'woof' or 'bark.' Take me for a walk and give me food."

Dad: "Good job!"

I guess, in twenty years, the dog will know what a donkey looks like. A lesson I may have learned if it was shown to me AS A BABY.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm the only strange person in the world or the only normal one. Statistics show that I'm the only strange one. But statistics don't know how to sound like a horsey. I do.

Take that statistics.

I'm off to get a 1-Up.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

King Richard III Skeletor

King Richard III has been found! Well...his skeleton has been found. I know. That's super exciting. Because you were TOTALLY looking for it.

Well stop looking in Utah! It's not there! It's in London, silly! In a parking lot! Where Richard III parked!

The Richard III Society is very happy about this.

Oh, you didn't know there was a whole Society for Richard III? Well there is! They do tons of fun stuff! Like...read books...and other...things!

That book joke is funny because he lifted bans on books and printing presses. Go ahead. You can laugh now.

They also think that Richard III was a good guy and that the Tudors spread super-mean rumors about him. They hope that finding his skeleton will help prove those rumors wrong. Because...you know...skeletons are great at talking...about Tudor tabloids...and reading books!

They did a bunch of tests to prove that this skeleton was, in fact, Richard III.

The best test? They have the 17th great-grand-nephew of the King's sister around for a DNA test!

He makes cabinets. If I were him, I would totally use my lineage to impress people.

Me: "Hey. I make cabinets."

You: "That's lame."

Me: "And I'm the 17th great-grand-nephew of King Richard III's sister."

You: "Mildly less lame."

Score.

I'm off to be mildly less lame.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj