the bird and the coconut

Sometimes news just boggles my mind. And yes, I DO mean the news will shake my head and then try to make words from all the letter cubes in there. Because that is exactly what I think is inside my head. Stork: 5 points!

A stork is in police custody in Egypt. As a suspected spy. This is a real story. A man was fishing when he saw a stork with an electronic device on it. And, an actual quote from the story, “Thinking it was an undercover agent, he captured the stork and took it to a police station…”

An undercover agent. Maybe I’ve been spoiled growing up in these United States, but I would never actually consider a bird being an “undercover agent” in real life. Maybe if I was just making up a story. But to actually, seriously consider that? I…have no words…

Turns out the stork was just a stork. Possibly delivering babies. Also, helping the French study its migration with a wildlife tracker. Because, obviously, that wouldn’t be your first thought.

And yet! When I say I have no words! If I could have even unmore than no words, I would for this!

A coconut is being held on suspicion of ballot-tampering in the Maldives.

I mean, I sometimes make up weird stories. And I WISH I could come up with stuff this creative!

The coconut was arrested because it was near a polling station. It had writing on it, so they thought it was using magic to influence the voters.

After a thorough investigation, the coconut was found innocent. Though, it is still being watched after multiple phone calls were made to a baby-less stork. And a lime.

I honestly can’t add anything to these stories. I wish I could say something funny and clever, but really, how can I compete?! They arrested a coconut! I mean, couldn’t they have just kicked it? Then it wouldn’t be near the polling station! Problem solved!

I truly love this world. I really, really do. And I love that I can find such stories in it. People never cease to amaze me, even if it’s for odd reasons, it still makes me happy that it all exists on this strangely beautiful planet.

I’m off to find a lime.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

pictures on the door

I like rooms with pictures on the doors. I feel very ancient Egyptian. Like bathrooms. Instead of wasting a lot of space on the door saying "This is a bathroom for the male gender," or "This door opens the way to a bathroom for women," all they do is put a nondescript humanish thing on the door with either their hands facing straight down, for men, or their arms lifted a little due to a triangle-ish outfit, for women. (Yes, that was a long sentence.)

I would like triangley clothes. They seem comfortable. Sadly, I cannot find any. If I did, I still wouldn't go into the women's room.

A woman DID go into the men's room, though! JUST as I was walking to the sink, the door opened and an older lady walked in. She said, "Sorry, the other bathroom is closed."

She SAID sorry, but I could hear in her voice that she wasn't really sorry at all. Possibly because she had to go to the bathroom. Sometimes when I really have to go, I get cranky, so I won't hold it against her.

Perhaps the door should have a sign that says, "Men...and sometimes Women. If the other Women is closed."

In MORE bathroom adventures (it was a busy week!), I got to hear music in there! It's pretty common to hear people's phones go off while in the bathroom. So, sometimes I get to hear a minute of a song before going to voicemail.

Or, in some cases, before the guy in the stall answers it. Which is...their prerogative.

But it's VERY rare that I just hear music! Like, somebody in the stall listening to their playlist. Not a phone call. Just an "I'm-bored-so-I'll-listen-to-music" situation.

Maybe the gentleman was a little shy and wanted cover music. Which is fine. That's totally understandable.

Maybe the sign on the door should have a picture of musical notes on it. Just as a warning.

Or it could say "Men...and sometimes Women. If the other Women is closed. With the possible chance of music playing."

If I learned anything from ancient Egypt, all I'd have to do is have a picture of a guy and a gal with musical notes over their head.

Of course, I might think it's a discotheque and not a bathroom. And that would be cool to have down the hall, but not as useful. Even though ancient Egyptian discotheques were fun. They had disco pyramids instead of disco balls. It was awesome.

I'm off to put on a triangle.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj