hello, my name is awesome

Wouldn’t you be thankful if your parents named you Awesome?

You would! And that’s why a woman is trying to change her daughter’s middle name!

A woman in Alaska had a daughter a few years ago. Here name is Viviana Contea Flores. When mom was pregnant, she asked her 11-year-old son to help her pick a name.

He said Danger. Because her son knows what cool is.

Mom said no to that. So he asked about giving the new baby the middle name of Awesome.

Mom said no to that, too! I mean, seriously, why ask if you’re going to say no to perfectly valid names?

But! Mom has finally realized that Awesome is an AWESOME name! And is trying to change it legally!

If you want my advice, why not go all the way? Danger Awesome Flores is a great name. Or even Awesome Danger Flores.

But really, what’s the point of a middle name? Your last name identifies your family. I guess it’s useful when addressing people with proper titles or something. And the first name is what people call you.

I suppose some people want to be called by their middle name if they don’t like their first name. Also, some parents give their children multiple middle names. I don’t know why. Maybe they couldn’t decide on just one? Or they want them to write fantasy books? Just add "R.R." and you have a hit!

Can I get some more middle names? I think I would like to add Awesome to my name. Maybe Purple. Or TARDIS! That’s a good one!

Or just change my name completely! To Awesome R.R. Purple TARDIS!

Now I understand the middle name! Without it, there would be no Purple! And I like Purple!

Sometimes I just amaze myself.

I’m off to Alaska. R.R.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the eagle has landed better

On this day in history, Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon for the Apollo 11 mission! It happened in 1969. That was a long time ago. 

Unless you are a time traveler, then it might have only been yesterday. I don't know when you're from. I like the name Armstrong.

And Buzz. Those are cool names. Instead of an eagle landing on the moon (which is totally possible because eagles are hardcore birds), they should make it a shark. With legs. That knows how to dance.

Buzz Armstrong will fly this shark to the moon and say, "The shark has landed on its legs on the moon!"

Then he'll use a jet pack to rocket out of the shark's mouth! Without a helmet because Buzz is so tough he can breathe in moon-space!

He'll stand on the moon and say, "That's one awesome jet pack landing for me. One amazing dance routine for mankind!"

Then he and the shark-ship will dance like crazy! And not bad dancing, either. Good dancing. Like breakdancing. Or crunk.

Then Buzz's pet wolf will jet pack out of the shark too! This won't be any regular wolf; this is, like, a wolf the size of a bus! And his name is Awesome! Buzz rides Awesome around the moon and says, "Apollo goes up to 11, moonies!"

Then they fly through space fighting crime and saving space-babies and stuff.

That's what really happened. I think. They just show that grainy video to hide the truth. They didn't think people could handle its epicness. I hope you can now. I don't want to blow your mind.

If I did, I apologize.

I'm off to crunk.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj