goose your tree

Did you know that Germans made the first artificial Christmas trees? It's true! They said, "Do you know how cold it is?! Ach! I am not going out there!"

I'm pretty sure "Ach" is a common German saying. I don't know anybody who IS German. But I did play a German woman once in a play. So, technically, I'm an expert in Germanology.

Due to this lack of desire to freeze their spritzes off, they made some fake trees. Out of goose feathers. 

I don't know much about geese. They may or may not enjoy a defeathering. I never have a problem when I get MY defeathering done, but I'm not a goose. 

They took these goose feathers and dyed them. I'm guessing green, but that isn't in the story. I actually kinda hope that they dyed them all sorts of different colors. Because that would be so pretty! 

Imagine having a soft and fluffy rainbow Christmas tree! THAT is what I call a Christmas miracle! 

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, your rainbow feathers amaze me. 

It's ok for you to sing that. It's a new holiday classic. 

If you don't have a goose, you might as well just make a tree out of cotton candy. Any color would work. I like pink. Then you can eat the tree. And build a new one. Then eat that one, too. 

Or, if you're in Germany, Das Butterbrot might be a good alternative. 

I'm off to dampfnudel. Ach.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj