The universe is chocolate syrup. That is all you really need to know, because everything else is NOT IMPORTANT.
Physicists wanted to look at the viscosity of the universe.
No. Not Disco City. That’s to the east of Funky Town. But I can understand why you would think that. I thought the same thing. Maybe it’s just because I used to think the universe was a giant disco ball.
Now I know better. The universe has the same viscosity of chocolate syrup!
They sent sound waves through the universe to get more details on how it began. They found out that it is 20 pascal-seconds.
Exactly the same as chocolate syrup! Because everybody knows that chocolate syrup is 20 pascal-seconds?
Seriously, which physicist knew the viscosity of chocolate syrup?
Physicist A: “Looks like the universe is 20 pascal-seconds.”
Physicist B: “Wow! That’s the same as chocolate syrup!”
Physicist A: “How do you even know that?! Wait…have you been using our very expensive viscosity machine to see pascal-seconds of stuff from the fridge?”
Physicist B: “…maybe…”
Physicist A: “That’s awesome! Let’s go see if there’s anything new in there! Maybe somebody brought in hummus and matzo crackers!”
(For scientific accuracy, I tried looking up the viscosity of hummus and matzo crackers. I could not find them. Proving again that Wikipedia doesn’t know everything. I’m also banned from using the library computers.)
In my head, that’s the sort of thing physicists do all the time but never tell you. My brother keeps telling me he’s just working on boring computer chips or something. I know he’s really having dinosaur jousting tournaments in Funky Town.
I’m off to put some universe on my sundae.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Showing posts with label dinosaur. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dinosaur. Show all posts
Monday, March 3, 2014
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
rainbow dinosaur
Did you hear about this?! There is a rainbow dinosaur! And I want one!
See, there's this thing that happens in the towns around me. People paint statues. This may happen in other communities, too. I don't really know. I'm not allowed to leave New England.
One town painted terriers. (My very favorite breed!) Another town painted sneakers. I think one town does bears.
I don't know the rules, but I guess some people apply to have the chance to paint them and then they display them around the town.
Well, in Granby, they did dinosaurs! The brontosaurus, or, more accurately, the apatosaurus, was their dinosaur of choice.
6-year-old kids decided how they wanted the dino designed and raised money to have somebody paint it like a rainbow! Because 6-year-olds are GENIUSES.
Apparently somebody didn't like it. Complaining that it promoted gay pride. First of all, who cares? Can't a dinosaur love whoever it wants? Third of all, rainbows are awesome whether they represent something or not. Seventhly and finally, IT'S A RAINBOW DINOSAUR AND THERE IS NOTHING COOLER THAN THAT.
Luckily, the town decided that it was ok to display the rainbow dinosaur. Because the town knows that real art uses every color. And dinosaurs. And rainbow dinosaurs.
I tell you all of this because I would like a pet rainbow dinosaur. We would fly all around the world and eat gelato and grapes and other foods that begin with the letter G.
We would also perform musical numbers about historical architecture. Because we've been working on words that rhyme with "colosseum."
I'm off to meet with Liam at the colosseum.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
See, there's this thing that happens in the towns around me. People paint statues. This may happen in other communities, too. I don't really know. I'm not allowed to leave New England.
One town painted terriers. (My very favorite breed!) Another town painted sneakers. I think one town does bears.
I don't know the rules, but I guess some people apply to have the chance to paint them and then they display them around the town.
Well, in Granby, they did dinosaurs! The brontosaurus, or, more accurately, the apatosaurus, was their dinosaur of choice.
6-year-old kids decided how they wanted the dino designed and raised money to have somebody paint it like a rainbow! Because 6-year-olds are GENIUSES.
Apparently somebody didn't like it. Complaining that it promoted gay pride. First of all, who cares? Can't a dinosaur love whoever it wants? Third of all, rainbows are awesome whether they represent something or not. Seventhly and finally, IT'S A RAINBOW DINOSAUR AND THERE IS NOTHING COOLER THAN THAT.
Luckily, the town decided that it was ok to display the rainbow dinosaur. Because the town knows that real art uses every color. And dinosaurs. And rainbow dinosaurs.
I tell you all of this because I would like a pet rainbow dinosaur. We would fly all around the world and eat gelato and grapes and other foods that begin with the letter G.
We would also perform musical numbers about historical architecture. Because we've been working on words that rhyme with "colosseum."
I'm off to meet with Liam at the colosseum.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)