Franklin Chang Diaz has been to space. A lot. When he’s not in space, he’s thinking about cooking with items FROM space.
He teamed up with some chefs in Costa Rica to let you “Taste the Stars.”
I mean, theoretically, everything I eat is from space. Since the Earth is in space, I actually enjoy space-food all the time. I’m travelling in space RIGHT NOW! So are you!
Pretty, cool, right?!
Sadly, most of my food has been stuck on Earth for a while. Franklin knew that this bothered me, so he helped create a “meteorite jus.”
I don’t know fancy food words beyond “toast,” so I’ll explain. It’s a steak sauce. It’s made with a wine called “Meteorito,” which is a wine that is “steeped with a 4.5-million-year-old meteorite.”
There you have it! You are kinda-sorta eating a meteorite when you eat this steak sauce!
I would like them to somehow get an actual star into the meal. Like a star tartar. A Startar!
Or get some Supernachovas! Nachos that explode with flavor! And radiation!
These are things that I eat. Because I sometimes travel through space. And if I forget to pack a banana, I get hungry.
I’m off to the restaurant at the end of the universe.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Showing posts with label universe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label universe. Show all posts
Monday, March 31, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
chocolate syrup existence
The universe is chocolate syrup. That is all you really need to know, because everything else is NOT IMPORTANT.
Physicists wanted to look at the viscosity of the universe.
No. Not Disco City. That’s to the east of Funky Town. But I can understand why you would think that. I thought the same thing. Maybe it’s just because I used to think the universe was a giant disco ball.
Now I know better. The universe has the same viscosity of chocolate syrup!
They sent sound waves through the universe to get more details on how it began. They found out that it is 20 pascal-seconds.
Exactly the same as chocolate syrup! Because everybody knows that chocolate syrup is 20 pascal-seconds?
Seriously, which physicist knew the viscosity of chocolate syrup?
Physicist A: “Looks like the universe is 20 pascal-seconds.”
Physicist B: “Wow! That’s the same as chocolate syrup!”
Physicist A: “How do you even know that?! Wait…have you been using our very expensive viscosity machine to see pascal-seconds of stuff from the fridge?”
Physicist B: “…maybe…”
Physicist A: “That’s awesome! Let’s go see if there’s anything new in there! Maybe somebody brought in hummus and matzo crackers!”
(For scientific accuracy, I tried looking up the viscosity of hummus and matzo crackers. I could not find them. Proving again that Wikipedia doesn’t know everything. I’m also banned from using the library computers.)
In my head, that’s the sort of thing physicists do all the time but never tell you. My brother keeps telling me he’s just working on boring computer chips or something. I know he’s really having dinosaur jousting tournaments in Funky Town.
I’m off to put some universe on my sundae.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Physicists wanted to look at the viscosity of the universe.
No. Not Disco City. That’s to the east of Funky Town. But I can understand why you would think that. I thought the same thing. Maybe it’s just because I used to think the universe was a giant disco ball.
Now I know better. The universe has the same viscosity of chocolate syrup!
They sent sound waves through the universe to get more details on how it began. They found out that it is 20 pascal-seconds.
Exactly the same as chocolate syrup! Because everybody knows that chocolate syrup is 20 pascal-seconds?
Seriously, which physicist knew the viscosity of chocolate syrup?
Physicist A: “Looks like the universe is 20 pascal-seconds.”
Physicist B: “Wow! That’s the same as chocolate syrup!”
Physicist A: “How do you even know that?! Wait…have you been using our very expensive viscosity machine to see pascal-seconds of stuff from the fridge?”
Physicist B: “…maybe…”
Physicist A: “That’s awesome! Let’s go see if there’s anything new in there! Maybe somebody brought in hummus and matzo crackers!”
(For scientific accuracy, I tried looking up the viscosity of hummus and matzo crackers. I could not find them. Proving again that Wikipedia doesn’t know everything. I’m also banned from using the library computers.)
In my head, that’s the sort of thing physicists do all the time but never tell you. My brother keeps telling me he’s just working on boring computer chips or something. I know he’s really having dinosaur jousting tournaments in Funky Town.
I’m off to put some universe on my sundae.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Friday, July 19, 2013
my blue world
The search for planets in our gigantalicious universe is quite a challenge. Lots and lots of them are far away. By “far away,” I mean REALLY FAR AWAY.
One of these planets is 63 light years away. It’s called HD 189733b. Or, as I like to call it, Snuzzles.
Snuzzles is Blue. Like Earth! Except differentish.
On Snuzzles, it rains molten glass. That’s right! Molten glass! I have just decided that if I could have a super power, I would like to make it rain molten glass. NOBODY would mess with me!
How scary would it be to have molten glass falling on you?! You would need a lead umbrella!
Imagine the last time you were walking around in the rain and you stepped in a puddle. Now image that puddle being MOLTEN GLASS. Goodbye heels! And feet!
We’d have to wear metal galoshes!
Mine would be a red. I would paint them with anti-molten paint.
It’s like waterproofing. For MOLTEN GLASS. (I’m currently mildly obsessed with saying molten glass.)
So astronomers know that Snuzzles is blue with molten glass rain. It’s not really a place you might want to visit, but it’s pretty cool to think about what kind of animals would evolve on that kind of world.
Probably something cute. Like a baby sloth. With super strong fur that can handle molten glass! And have poison-tipped razor claws!
For extra protection.
I’m off to molten glass.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
One of these planets is 63 light years away. It’s called HD 189733b. Or, as I like to call it, Snuzzles.
Snuzzles is Blue. Like Earth! Except differentish.
On Snuzzles, it rains molten glass. That’s right! Molten glass! I have just decided that if I could have a super power, I would like to make it rain molten glass. NOBODY would mess with me!
How scary would it be to have molten glass falling on you?! You would need a lead umbrella!
Imagine the last time you were walking around in the rain and you stepped in a puddle. Now image that puddle being MOLTEN GLASS. Goodbye heels! And feet!
We’d have to wear metal galoshes!
Mine would be a red. I would paint them with anti-molten paint.
It’s like waterproofing. For MOLTEN GLASS. (I’m currently mildly obsessed with saying molten glass.)
So astronomers know that Snuzzles is blue with molten glass rain. It’s not really a place you might want to visit, but it’s pretty cool to think about what kind of animals would evolve on that kind of world.
Probably something cute. Like a baby sloth. With super strong fur that can handle molten glass! And have poison-tipped razor claws!
For extra protection.
I’m off to molten glass.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
supertrain to the rescue
Before I get to my Supertrain, I have to tell you about my trip to DC! Not the whole thing because that would probably bore you. Only parts that are VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.
For example, the National Museum of Natural History and the National Air and Space Museum are totally awesome. You should visit them a lot.
Inside the Air and Space Museum is a small TV in one corner of a room. On this TV is a video on a loop. Recorded on this video is "Scott Hamilton Skates the Universe."
It is Scott Hamilton doing his skating of figures through stars and galaxies and suns and stuff. It is completely real.
I have no words to describe it. Eric Idle sings the "Galaxy Song" on it, too. I leave it to your imagination how amazing it is.
ALSO! I got a library card for the Library of Congress! I can officially take out a member of Congress for up to two weeks and return them when I'm done! If I'm late, it's a $100 trillion fine every day after.
And finally...approximately as powerful as a locomotive, and not quite faster than (more like the same speed as) a locomotive, and able to get around buildings if there is track on the ground...it's SUPERTRAIN!
On the trip home, the train had to rescue another train! I guess a train going to Boston broke. My Hartford train heard the call and quickly came to rescue the Boston train.
This was a train-to-train transfer. We parked right next to the other train, put down a little bridge between the doors and people had to get on the Hartford train!
Then, Supertrain quickly got everybody to safety. Hooray Train of Steel!
That was my trip. You should do the exact same thing for your vacation.
I'm off to skate the universe with a member of Congress. And Scott Hamilton.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
For example, the National Museum of Natural History and the National Air and Space Museum are totally awesome. You should visit them a lot.
Inside the Air and Space Museum is a small TV in one corner of a room. On this TV is a video on a loop. Recorded on this video is "Scott Hamilton Skates the Universe."
It is Scott Hamilton doing his skating of figures through stars and galaxies and suns and stuff. It is completely real.
I have no words to describe it. Eric Idle sings the "Galaxy Song" on it, too. I leave it to your imagination how amazing it is.
ALSO! I got a library card for the Library of Congress! I can officially take out a member of Congress for up to two weeks and return them when I'm done! If I'm late, it's a $100 trillion fine every day after.
And finally...approximately as powerful as a locomotive, and not quite faster than (more like the same speed as) a locomotive, and able to get around buildings if there is track on the ground...it's SUPERTRAIN!
On the trip home, the train had to rescue another train! I guess a train going to Boston broke. My Hartford train heard the call and quickly came to rescue the Boston train.
This was a train-to-train transfer. We parked right next to the other train, put down a little bridge between the doors and people had to get on the Hartford train!
Then, Supertrain quickly got everybody to safety. Hooray Train of Steel!
That was my trip. You should do the exact same thing for your vacation.
I'm off to skate the universe with a member of Congress. And Scott Hamilton.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
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