that’s a big penguin

Researchers in Antarctica found a giant penguin. A 6-foot 7-inch tall penguin!

Ok…so it’s not ALIVE. It’s a fossil. They figure it would have been about 250 pounds! How awesome is that!

I want a giant penguin. I have said in the past that I want a pet triceratops that I can ride to work. I still want that. For the summer. I think dinosaurs prefer the summer months. Whenever I see pictures of dinosaurs, they are in very steamy climates.

But, just like your car needs summer and winter tires, I need summer and winter transport! THAT is where Remy comes it.

(Remy is the name of my penguin. In case that wasn’t clear.)

See, penguins slide across the snow and ice without a problem. It will be much easier to get to work in the snow on a penguin. Andromeda can go to Florida and play on the beach. She loves the beach. She’ll run in and out of waves for hours. She also loves Frisbee and theme parks.

(Andromeda is the name of my triceratops. In case that wasn’t clear.)

But while Andromeda is looking around Diagon Alley at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Remy and I will be cruising the snow drifts!  I think that would make more sense because whenever I watch Happy Feet, there’s snow.

I just want to care for my prehistoric animals! And make sure they are in the proper climate even if they aren’t in the proper time period.

That is why I want to see the science from Jurassic Park become a reality. So I can have cool pets to ride to work.

As a bonus, I would like a giant sloth to cuddle with. Because that would be amazing. Bodhi and I would read comic books and eat jelly beans and leaves all day long.

(Bodhi is the name of my giant sloth. In case that wasn’t clear.)

(This name joke is still funny. In case that wasn’t clear.)

I’m off to look for fossils in amber.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

can plants eat people?

Russian scientists have found plant seeds from 30,000 years ago. That's right ICE AGE FLOWERS!

At first, you might think that's cool. You know, maybe as a gift for a loved one or something. You can't find extinct flowers everywhere. Because...you know...they're extinct.

These were frozen, then thawed, then planted, and the flowers are growing!

But what do we really know about the extinct Silene stenophylla? It grows in Siberia. Usually blooms in the summer. And that's it.

THAT'S IT!

No research has been done on the eating habits of this plant! What if it has a taste for meat? Did you think of that? And this Ice Age version of the plant might be HUGE! It could grow over 25 cm tall! At that size, it could eat a panda or something!

Is that what you want?! Panda-eating flowers?!

I've seen Jurassic Park. I've read a small portion of the book. I know what happens when you mess with frozen life. Theme parks shut down!

Is that what you want?! Disney World to shut down?!

It sounds like you do, Russian florists. If you loved Disney and panda bears, you would stop with this crazy floristian madness.

I have Masters Degree in Floristation and I'm pretty sure Russia doesn't. So I should know.

I'm off to Disney World with a panda.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj