not bear or bull

But monkey! It's a monkey market!

I don't know much (I know nothing) about stocks. I DO know that there are bears and bulls. Similar to my party last night (from what I remember).

Well, science and monkeys have given us more information about stocks! Actually, science and monkeys are pretty good at figuring out everything in the world.

Some researchers asked monkeys to pick their stocks. They also had fund managers pick some stocks. Guess who’s living in a tree made of gold now?

Yep! The monkeys! They picked the better stocks and used their billions to buy a gold and diamond forest filled with figs and bananas.

A very healthy diet. If you like potassium and fiber. And who doesn't?!

I think there should be a movie about bears and bulls and monkeys. Like Kung Fu Panda meets Wall Street. OH!  And there would be a Gecko! Because that's already kinda there!

Why isn't Disney/Pixar making more movies about stock trading? Seems like a silly decision to ignore the millions they could make in merchandising.

Like a bull in a suit. Or a monkey with an oak desk. A gecko in a jail cell.

ALL of them with Kung Fu action! Because, in my head, most stocks are traded after a Kung Fu fight.

Beware of my High Yield Attack! Finish him with the Capital Gains of Doom!

I'm off to diversify.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

can plants eat people?

Russian scientists have found plant seeds from 30,000 years ago. That's right ICE AGE FLOWERS!

At first, you might think that's cool. You know, maybe as a gift for a loved one or something. You can't find extinct flowers everywhere. Because...you know...they're extinct.

These were frozen, then thawed, then planted, and the flowers are growing!

But what do we really know about the extinct Silene stenophylla? It grows in Siberia. Usually blooms in the summer. And that's it.

THAT'S IT!

No research has been done on the eating habits of this plant! What if it has a taste for meat? Did you think of that? And this Ice Age version of the plant might be HUGE! It could grow over 25 cm tall! At that size, it could eat a panda or something!

Is that what you want?! Panda-eating flowers?!

I've seen Jurassic Park. I've read a small portion of the book. I know what happens when you mess with frozen life. Theme parks shut down!

Is that what you want?! Disney World to shut down?!

It sounds like you do, Russian florists. If you loved Disney and panda bears, you would stop with this crazy floristian madness.

I have Masters Degree in Floristation and I'm pretty sure Russia doesn't. So I should know.

I'm off to Disney World with a panda.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj