watch me twirl

I saw a commercial the other day for shoes that informed me if I was a girl that liked to twirl, there are shoes made just for me!

Turns out, I am! Because I want these shoes! They are Bella Ballerina shoes from Sketchers. There is a disk on the bottom of the shoe that will allow you to spin around when you put pressure on that spot. So I can spin. Like a ballerina.

As an adult male, it’s almost impossible to find a pair in my size. I might just have to learn ballerinaness so I can twirl without cheating. But that sounds like a lot of effort.

I must say, I love shoes with gimmicks. The Heelys that were popular a few years ago were great. I really wanted a pair.

All the shoes with blinking lights are awesome. Like, beyond awesome. I don’t know how people in ancient times lived without shoes with lights. It seems like the first thing I would invent. Because I would want to look awesome. In a toga.

Ok, you got me, I look awesome in a toga no matter what. But, I would want to look even awesomer. And sandals with lights would have made me the coolest thing to hit Rome since Romulus and Remus.

While doing extensive research online for these twirly shoes, I found a video on YouTube of “Bella Ballerina” that is totally amazing. It has some girl in a rad-tacular purple outfit doing ballet with giant teddy bears! I have no idea what they’re saying. It’s in Swedish or something. As much as I want to believe eating Swedish Fish will help me understand the language, it has yet to work.

I will keep trying. By eating Swedish Fish. Because I want to speak Swedenese. And because Swedish Fish they taste like sunshine and happiness.

Ballet is a fun word. I usually don’t like silent letters because I feel sorry for them (due to lack of use). But silent T’s are interesting. It’s such a hard letter that it seems so defiant to NOT use it!

Filet. Ballet. Duvet. Buffet (the food extravaganza, not the singer). Caillait (the singer, not the food extravaganza).

If I were decorating my bedroom during my years as a ballerina, I would have a ballet duvet. But I think I’m straying off topic. A lot. Maybe I’m just dizzy from all my spinning.

I’m off to twirl.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

great deals in emails

I get a LOT of spam. The email, not the meatish stuff. Most of them are generic spammy things. But there are some I don’t quite understand.

Like keychains. I regularly get emails with the headline “Cheap Keychains!”

Really?! That’s what you’re going to sell me? Is there a huge market for keychains I don't know about?

Do you often think, “I wish I could order tons of keychains at a low price! I have so many keys! Each key DESERVES its own personal chain! Because keys always get jealous!”

If you do often think that, I have a spam folder full of emails just for you!

Also, I get a lot of emails trying to sell me ladies' watches. I’m not sure if I should be offended. I do have petite wrists, but I wouldn’t call them feminine.

They’re actually, in my opinion, the manliest wrists I’ve ever seen. They can life my hands without any effort.

Also, I can use a slap bracelet, like, 10 times before it hurts. That’s pretty manly!

Who needs a watch, anyway? Isn’t that what my phone is for? People haven’t worn watches since the fall of Rome! I think they found one on Romulus Augustulus! And we all know how good THAT worked out for him!

Odoacer: “Hey Romulus! What time is it?”

Romulus: “Looks like it’s 2:40.”

Odoacer: “WRONG! It’s time for Rome to fall! Loser!”

Romulus: “I don’t know. My watch still says 2:40.”

Odoacer: “And people wonder why Rome is falling.”

My old Latin teacher will find that hilarious. Or maybe not. I don’t think he ever found my humor funny. At least, my grades weren’t funny. (I didn’t do well in the Latins.)

I’m off to semper ubi sub ubi. (That’s all I remember from Latin.)

Enjoy Everything.

-dj