Casa Madrona is a fancy hotel in California.
Fancy can't even describe the place. It's beyond gorgeous. And SO EXPENSIVE.
The Alexandrite Suite costs $10,000. FOR ONE NIGHT. Would you like to spend two nights there? Because if you can afford that, I would like you to bring me!
They decided that they needed a gimmick to get people to stay there, (I have a gimmick idea, MAKE IT CHEAPER.) so they started a drone delivery service.
If you stay in the Alexandrite Suite, you can have a drone deliver champagne to your room. You don't even have to tip it! Just get your bottles and send it away!
Are you like me and don't care about drone champagne? They understand that. So they will also deliver cookies! Drone cookies! Drookies!
Imagine sitting out on a beautiful deck all day while robots just keep delivering cookies and snacks to you. I would feel like an evil mastermind in a movie!
Me: "Drones! Bring me more cookies!"
Drones: "Yes master." (My evil drones talk.)
Me: "And 3.8 bags of Swedish Fish!"
Drones: "Yes master."
Me: "And this time don't go to Sweden and get fish from the water! I want the red chewy ones! And make sure every chewy fish looks like a fish! I don't want any mooshed-up ones"
It's stressful being an evil mastermind. You have to be so specific with robots. But they're easier to replace than human minions. Those were messy days.
I'm off to plot my world domination...after I raise $10,000. Do they have an evil kickstarter?
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Showing posts with label Swedish Fish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Swedish Fish. Show all posts
Monday, May 19, 2014
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
watch me twirl
I saw a commercial the other day for shoes that informed me if I was a girl that liked to twirl, there are shoes made just for me!
Turns out, I am! Because I want these shoes! They are Bella Ballerina shoes from Sketchers. There is a disk on the bottom of the shoe that will allow you to spin around when you put pressure on that spot. So I can spin. Like a ballerina.
As an adult male, it’s almost impossible to find a pair in my size. I might just have to learn ballerinaness so I can twirl without cheating. But that sounds like a lot of effort.
I must say, I love shoes with gimmicks. The Heelys that were popular a few years ago were great. I really wanted a pair.
All the shoes with blinking lights are awesome. Like, beyond awesome. I don’t know how people in ancient times lived without shoes with lights. It seems like the first thing I would invent. Because I would want to look awesome. In a toga.
Ok, you got me, I look awesome in a toga no matter what. But, I would want to look even awesomer. And sandals with lights would have made me the coolest thing to hit Rome since Romulus and Remus.
While doing extensive research online for these twirly shoes, I found a video on YouTube of “Bella Ballerina” that is totally amazing. It has some girl in a rad-tacular purple outfit doing ballet with giant teddy bears! I have no idea what they’re saying. It’s in Swedish or something. As much as I want to believe eating Swedish Fish will help me understand the language, it has yet to work.
I will keep trying. By eating Swedish Fish. Because I want to speak Swedenese. And because Swedish Fish they taste like sunshine and happiness.
Ballet is a fun word. I usually don’t like silent letters because I feel sorry for them (due to lack of use). But silent T’s are interesting. It’s such a hard letter that it seems so defiant to NOT use it!
Filet. Ballet. Duvet. Buffet (the food extravaganza, not the singer). Caillait (the singer, not the food extravaganza).
If I were decorating my bedroom during my years as a ballerina, I would have a ballet duvet. But I think I’m straying off topic. A lot. Maybe I’m just dizzy from all my spinning.
I’m off to twirl.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Turns out, I am! Because I want these shoes! They are Bella Ballerina shoes from Sketchers. There is a disk on the bottom of the shoe that will allow you to spin around when you put pressure on that spot. So I can spin. Like a ballerina.
As an adult male, it’s almost impossible to find a pair in my size. I might just have to learn ballerinaness so I can twirl without cheating. But that sounds like a lot of effort.
I must say, I love shoes with gimmicks. The Heelys that were popular a few years ago were great. I really wanted a pair.
All the shoes with blinking lights are awesome. Like, beyond awesome. I don’t know how people in ancient times lived without shoes with lights. It seems like the first thing I would invent. Because I would want to look awesome. In a toga.
Ok, you got me, I look awesome in a toga no matter what. But, I would want to look even awesomer. And sandals with lights would have made me the coolest thing to hit Rome since Romulus and Remus.
While doing extensive research online for these twirly shoes, I found a video on YouTube of “Bella Ballerina” that is totally amazing. It has some girl in a rad-tacular purple outfit doing ballet with giant teddy bears! I have no idea what they’re saying. It’s in Swedish or something. As much as I want to believe eating Swedish Fish will help me understand the language, it has yet to work.
I will keep trying. By eating Swedish Fish. Because I want to speak Swedenese. And because Swedish Fish they taste like sunshine and happiness.
Ballet is a fun word. I usually don’t like silent letters because I feel sorry for them (due to lack of use). But silent T’s are interesting. It’s such a hard letter that it seems so defiant to NOT use it!
Filet. Ballet. Duvet. Buffet (the food extravaganza, not the singer). Caillait (the singer, not the food extravaganza).
If I were decorating my bedroom during my years as a ballerina, I would have a ballet duvet. But I think I’m straying off topic. A lot. Maybe I’m just dizzy from all my spinning.
I’m off to twirl.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Monday, March 11, 2013
jelly bean season is here
And the hunt is on! I love jelly beans. Easter is the BEST time for jelly beans.
Also, a bonus is Cadbury Mini Eggs. Which have some sort of magical candy frosting around delicious chocolate. I say "magical" because I've never tasted anything quite like it in my ENTIRE LIFE. That's right. The wholeness of my life encompasses my attempts to find a similar taste and all attempts have FAILED.
But let us get back to jelly beans. Which I may or may not have talked about a million times before. But who cares! It's worth talking about them again! Because they're so good. And so jelly. And so beany.
I found Glitter Jelly Beans at the store! GLITTER! If I could legally change my name to Gary Glitter and NOT have people ask me to Rock and Roll all the time, I totally would.
ALSO! Swedish Fish Jelly Beans! They're, like, the caviar of Swedish Fish!
So far they only come in Red flavor. Yes, that IS the official flavor. According to the website, which you should totally check out, the flavors are Red, Assorted, and Swedish Fish Aqua Life.
I would probably eat more fish if they tasted Red. I love Red flavor so much. There is a possibility that I would become a Swedish fisherman if I could catch Swedish Fish! I would use hooks and nets to catch fish and maybe those lobster trap things to get some jelly beans!
I would totally become a pescatarian! A Swedish Pescatarian!
I hope the Easter Fishy comes by this year and brings me Swedish Fish Jelly Beans. That would be totally Red.
I'm off to get my Swedish fishing license. (Say that 100 times fast!)
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
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