sugar power

Virginia Tech has the smartest people ever. They have created a sugar battery. Did you hear me? A SUGAR BATTERY.

I mean, it’s so obvious! I’ve been powered by sugar since I was a toddler! Why didn’t I think of using it to keep my computer working?

Not only that, but it’s rechargeable! Guess what you have to do to make it work again.

Go ahead. I’ll wait.

GIVE IT MORE SUGAR!

That’s exactly how I work every day! This is so simple that it’s genius.

It’s not ready yet, though. I tried pouring sugar on my computer. Now I need a new computer.

Once it IS ready, there is one possible problem. I might eat my batteries. I have been told that batteries we use now are NOT edible. Like, so not edible that you could die if you eat them.

This is a problem for me. I like to just eat things. Because, you know, it’s there. You never know what could taste good!

Sugar batteries would be such a nice change. I could open up your phone and start licking the battery and it would be totally NOT weird!

When I did that yesterday at the store, the person in front of me totally freaked out. I have no idea why. It’s not like I was going to steal their phone. Just taste it a little.

I have been told many times that I need to work on my boundaries. And multiple other issues.

Sugar batteries could solve world energy problems and some socially awkward moments for me.

I’m off to recharge my batteries.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

time to get a new clock

I had a clock. It ran on a battery. It was red. And it kept ticking!

I couldn't take it anymore. I used to love the ticking clock. Now I do not. I have gone all digital!

Maybe I'm getting old. Instead of having a constant reminder of the passage of time, I'd rather live in a realm where time may or may not actually be passing.

Theoretically, it isn't passing until I recognize its passing. Once I look at the clock, then I realize that time has gone by. But BEFORE that, time doesn't exist.

Is that too deep for me? Yes. Let's just say I didn't like the ticks.

OH! You know what else is annoying? My alarms! Not that the sound is annoying. It's supposed to be. To wake me up. But they never do!

I think I figured it out! I use four alarms to (sorta) wake up in the morning. Yes. Four. I won't hear them for 20 minutes or so. Do you know why? Because they don't stay on!

They all beep or buzz or twinkle for one minute and then go into snooze mode! What's up with that?! Who wakes up after one minute of noise? Ring for a minute, then snooze for 5? That doesn't make any sense!

I think I would only need one alarm if it stayed on until I hit snooze. Then alarm again until I turn it off! Don't just give up after one minute! That's just lazy!

I need the alarm because I'M lazy! Why don't they make unlazy alarms?!

I suppose it's not all bad. They don't tick. So that's cool. And maybe without the passage of time, having an alarm doesn't matter. Since, you know, I stop time and all.

Try that excuse on your boss. Let me know if it works.

I'm off to live in an undesignated frame of time.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj