jelly bean season is here

And the hunt is on! I love jelly beans. Easter is the BEST time for jelly beans.

Also, a bonus is Cadbury Mini Eggs. Which have some sort of magical candy frosting around delicious chocolate. I say "magical" because I've never tasted anything quite like it in my ENTIRE LIFE. That's right. The wholeness of my life encompasses my attempts to find a similar taste and all attempts have FAILED.

But let us get back to jelly beans. Which I may or may not have talked about a million times before. But who cares! It's worth talking about them again! Because they're so good. And so jelly. And so beany.

I found Glitter Jelly Beans at the store! GLITTER! If I could legally change my name to Gary Glitter and NOT have people ask me to Rock and Roll all the time, I totally would.

ALSO! Swedish Fish Jelly Beans! They're, like, the caviar of Swedish Fish!

So far they only come in Red flavor. Yes, that IS the official flavor. According to the website, which you should totally check out, the flavors are Red, Assorted, and Swedish Fish Aqua Life.

I would probably eat more fish if they tasted Red. I love Red flavor so much. There is a possibility that I would become a Swedish fisherman if I could catch Swedish Fish! I would use hooks and nets to catch fish and maybe those lobster trap things to get some jelly beans!

I would totally become a pescatarian! A Swedish Pescatarian!

I hope the Easter Fishy comes by this year and brings me Swedish Fish Jelly Beans. That would be totally Red.

I'm off to get my Swedish fishing license. (Say that 100 times fast!)

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

time to get a new clock

I had a clock. It ran on a battery. It was red. And it kept ticking!

I couldn't take it anymore. I used to love the ticking clock. Now I do not. I have gone all digital!

Maybe I'm getting old. Instead of having a constant reminder of the passage of time, I'd rather live in a realm where time may or may not actually be passing.

Theoretically, it isn't passing until I recognize its passing. Once I look at the clock, then I realize that time has gone by. But BEFORE that, time doesn't exist.

Is that too deep for me? Yes. Let's just say I didn't like the ticks.

OH! You know what else is annoying? My alarms! Not that the sound is annoying. It's supposed to be. To wake me up. But they never do!

I think I figured it out! I use four alarms to (sorta) wake up in the morning. Yes. Four. I won't hear them for 20 minutes or so. Do you know why? Because they don't stay on!

They all beep or buzz or twinkle for one minute and then go into snooze mode! What's up with that?! Who wakes up after one minute of noise? Ring for a minute, then snooze for 5? That doesn't make any sense!

I think I would only need one alarm if it stayed on until I hit snooze. Then alarm again until I turn it off! Don't just give up after one minute! That's just lazy!

I need the alarm because I'M lazy! Why don't they make unlazy alarms?!

I suppose it's not all bad. They don't tick. So that's cool. And maybe without the passage of time, having an alarm doesn't matter. Since, you know, I stop time and all.

Try that excuse on your boss. Let me know if it works.

I'm off to live in an undesignated frame of time.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj