3D, meet B2

When I was a kid, I always made sure I had enough riboflavin (or, for you B Vitamin groupies, B2), because it was always important for time traveling.

Actually, as an adult, I still feel the same way. Since I am traveling through time every second of every day, I make sure to keep the riboflavin coming. I even try to get some EXTRA riboflavin during the time change. Because, you know, I don’t want to get lost in time forever!

Well science has decided to create humans who can travel through time WITHOUT worry! By giving us riboflavin organs!

Okay, so they don’t come right out and SAY that’s what it’s for, but I saw Looper, so I know what’s going to happen.

Scientists have been making artificial tissue and medical implants for people with 3D printers. One problem with making these implants is that they have to use a toxic “photoinitiator.”

You don’t need to know what that is, but just know that it’s toxic and is bad to put in your body.

Instead of toxins going in you, they found out that B2 works as a photoinitiator! So you can have slightly less toxins in your body!

And travel through more time than ever before! I mean, if you replaced all your organs with riboflavinized organs, you could probably go back 100 years or something!

At least, your organs would travel just fine. But really, it’s a bad idea to only send certain parts of you through time.

I find it amazing that we can print out new tissue for our bodies. And even MORE amazing that it can be photoinitiated with something I find in Froot Loops! (Which, I hear, is the only thing you’re allowed to eat if you constantly travel through time.)

I wonder if I could create a new organ. I don’t know where I would put it, but maybe there’s some room next to the spleen.

I’m off to close the loop.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

hug my waist

Well, now I HAVE to talk about my belts!

I need new belts. The old ones are falling apart. I found a few that are totally (purple) awesome. And who wants a belt UNLESS it is totally awesome?!

Belts can be hard for me. Because I always put them on upside down.

I'm generally right-handed. But for some reason, I loop my belts like a lefty. And when the belt has images or writing on it (as all totally rad belts should), they look upside down!

I also put my watch on the wrong arm. Well, I used to. When I wore a watch. Do they even make watches these days? But, yeah, I had to use my left hand to put my watch on my right wrist.

Oh, hockey, too. I was a lefty in hockey. I know, weird. Why would I play hockey?

Luckily, my perception of the world is totally wrong! Possibly due to an astigmatism. I don't know. When I put my belts on upside down, I'm pretty sure I'm seeing them right side up, but in the other direction.

When I wore a watch, I'm think I looked at the correct wrist for the time. Though, time is pretty relative, so whether I looked at the right wrist or the wrong wrist depends on whether you were moving forwards or backwards in time.

Which, as stated earlier this week, I do both.

Hockey...THAT is a mystery I may never solve. I was the goalie most of the time. Mostly because I was lazy and didn't want to move. Partly because the coach couldn't deal with me talking about watches and belts and wanted me as far away from him as possible.

Still, I was the best and most differently perceived goalie EVER.

I'm off to hold my pants up.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

time comes to you

Why travel to the future when you can make the future come to you! A man in Tehran claims he created a kinda, sorta time machine.

It doesn't really flux capacitate. More like flux caprintout...itate...

Ali has created the "Aryayek Time Traveling Machine." It will tell you what will happen to you in the next 5-8 years of your life. Using "complex algorithms."

I will also tell you what will happen in the next 10 years of your life. Using algorithms of complexion.

Find me in 10 years and let's check on my accuracy.

Know why we don't have access to this AMAZING device yet?! He says that "the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight."

Which, granted, is probably true. So you can't blame the guy.

But who cares about that?! I travel in time at least twice a year! I'll go forward and backwards one FULL HOUR. It's crazy. I really can't explain it. My phone will just pop forward an hour or back an hour sometimes!

My phone is amazing! It takes pictures and plays music and texts AND takes me through time!

I may have a time travel app. I don't remember finding that at the app store, but time travel may or may not have messed up my memory.

Also, many blows to the head may or may not have messed up my intelligence. So says my anesthesiologist. Wait...no...maybe it was the neurosthesiologist?

I can't remember.

I'm off to fall back in time.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

time to get a new clock

I had a clock. It ran on a battery. It was red. And it kept ticking!

I couldn't take it anymore. I used to love the ticking clock. Now I do not. I have gone all digital!

Maybe I'm getting old. Instead of having a constant reminder of the passage of time, I'd rather live in a realm where time may or may not actually be passing.

Theoretically, it isn't passing until I recognize its passing. Once I look at the clock, then I realize that time has gone by. But BEFORE that, time doesn't exist.

Is that too deep for me? Yes. Let's just say I didn't like the ticks.

OH! You know what else is annoying? My alarms! Not that the sound is annoying. It's supposed to be. To wake me up. But they never do!

I think I figured it out! I use four alarms to (sorta) wake up in the morning. Yes. Four. I won't hear them for 20 minutes or so. Do you know why? Because they don't stay on!

They all beep or buzz or twinkle for one minute and then go into snooze mode! What's up with that?! Who wakes up after one minute of noise? Ring for a minute, then snooze for 5? That doesn't make any sense!

I think I would only need one alarm if it stayed on until I hit snooze. Then alarm again until I turn it off! Don't just give up after one minute! That's just lazy!

I need the alarm because I'M lazy! Why don't they make unlazy alarms?!

I suppose it's not all bad. They don't tick. So that's cool. And maybe without the passage of time, having an alarm doesn't matter. Since, you know, I stop time and all.

Try that excuse on your boss. Let me know if it works.

I'm off to live in an undesignated frame of time.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

nuclear power at your fingertips

Or wrist, I guess. Because you can now have nuclear power in a watch!

YES! This is real! The Nuclear Watch provides "nuclear illumination for up to 25 years!" It's chock full of radioactive hydrogen atoms that light up the watch hands and the lines where all the numbers go.

And since this nuclear fission is just happening ALL THE TIME, everything stays lit up ALL THE TIME.

I'm not sure if I should be afraid or in awe of this thing. I mean, it's glowing. On you. Due to radiation. Which, I've HEARD, is bad for your wrist.

And all your other body parts, too.

I mean, this is literally a TICKING NUCLEAR TIME...piece.

The "Nuclear Regulatory Commission" says it's safe. I've never heard of the NRC. They claim they are real people. They just don't get much press. Nor do they get a health plan.

If I saw somebody wearing a watch that glowed with the power of radioactivity, I would not ask them for the time. I might catch a cold fusion or something. I don't want to risk that.

Have you ever had a cold? Think about that cold with FUSION added on to it!

I once had a case of cold fusion in middle school. It was not pleasant. History class was never the same again.

It is also the reason I never played football.

That, and the fact that in the four fundamental forces of nature, I'm total weak force. (This is, in fact, a totally hilarious joke because it has to do with radioactive decay. Look it up and you'll laugh. A lot. I promise.)

I'm off to check the time.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj