oh my gourd

If you're looking for the blood of a beheaded king, look no further than a gourd!

There is blood on a handkerchief that scientists believe belongs to King Louis XVI. That's 16th, if you don't read Roman Numerals. And you shouldn't. They're not really numbers. They're letters. Romans were lazy and figured letters were good for everything. They were wrong, no matter what any algebra teacher tells you.

Some family in Italy had a "souvenir squash" with the handkerchief in it.

Let me say that again...an Italian family had a "SOUVENIR SQUASH" with a HANDKERCHIEF in it.

Because that's not weird at all. It makes my collection of seashell-people collection seem totally sane.

The gourd was also engraved. (I'm totally not making any of this up.) It said, "On January 21, Maximilien Bourdaloue dipped his handkerchief in the blood of Louis XVI after his decapitation."

This is a commemorative gourd. With blood inside. That some guy decided to save. And a family kept as a souvenir.

Am I the only person disturbed by this?! I mean, really! Who does that?! This is not healthy behaviour!

Sorry about that "u." I sometimes spell things like I'm British. I could blame it on watching a lot of British TV, but that doesn't make sense because I don't actually see words, I just hear them. Sadly, I have no other excuse.

But I'm not concerned about it because I never kept a bloody handkerchief in a commemorative gourd. And knowing I never did that makes me feel like I can pretty much do anything and nobody can call me crazy.

Maybe this was normal in 1793, but I'm gonna say no. Just...no.

I'm off to engrave a squash. Order yours today. Cheap. Blood optional.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

dinosaur meat

When dinosaurs return to the living, (That's right. WHEN. Because they will be back. IF they aren't back already???) which one would you eat?

That's what somebody tried to figure out. I found this article and it's awful! Dinosaurs should NEVER be eaten! They should be treated as equals!

IF you are curious, they say we would probably want herbivores. Because most of the meat we eat now comes from herbivores. And they make for a better meat.

Want good white meat? Try some armored dinosaurs.

Hadrosaurs would be good for red meat since they were on the move a lot.

But again, don't eat dinosaurs! If any dinosaur is reading this, I fully support your return to the world and would never eat you so you should make me a king of people-dinosaur relations.

Now, if dinosaurs return and are not intelligent enough to run governments (even though I'm hopeful they will be), then we should treat them like beloved pets.

Every day I would play fetch with my T-Rex. I would take my Apatosaurus for the best walks ever!

And I would ride my Triceratops all over town! Because Triceratopses LOVE going for a daily ride. They're like horses. Or unicorns. But with three horns. A tricorn.

I love this world of dinosaurs.

I bet they like getted petted and not eated. So we shouldn't eat dinosaurs. Ever.

I'm off to be a dinosaur king.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj