cats in space

Iran wants to put a kitty in space! Because Iran wants to have the cutest space program ever!

Just imagine kitties in space suits. Are you imagining it? The cuteness is overwhelming, isn’t it?!

Apparently, Iran has been sending animals into space for the past few years. They did a mouse, a turtle, and some worms. I’m not sure if it was at the same time, but I really hope it was. That’s just a children’s book WAITING to happen!

Why isn’t Iran putting video of all this stuff on YouTube? Or getting Pixar to make movies? I mean, seriously, cute animals in space? It practically writes itself!

The latest trip (Space Animals 2) is coming soon and it’s going to be a cat, a mouse, or a rabbit going into space. I have no idea how they decide this, but if it’s anything like the movies, showing the three of them training for a space mission would be awesome!

It would be like Bucky O’Hare, Nyan Cat, and Mickey Mouse all competing to be the next animal in space.

Obviously Bucky would win. Because he’s funky AND fresh. Also, he goes where no other rabbit would dare. Plus, he has a laser gun.

I would totally watch a cartoon about space-kitties purring and fighting yarn and stuff. Or not even a cartoon! Just put a bunch of kitties in space and film it! Like, “Real Kitties of the Milky Way!”

I would watch that all the time, Iran! That’s what you need to do! That will get you funding for the next trip with cute and cuddly animals!

OH! Then you could do the next Puppy Bowl in space! Just a bunch of floating puppies.

People would completely forget about that weird football game. Trust me. I’m a TV executive every third Wednesday.

I’m off to be cute. In space.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

beetles of the caribbean

I have heard that sailors from ye olden days used the stars to navigate the world. In my head, all sailors from those days were also pirates. Because that's cool.

Therefore, anything that uses the stars to navigate is a pirate. Like the dung beetle. The PIRATE dung beetle!

Turns out they use the Milky Way to navigate their way around South Africa! People who study dung beetles (fun job) noticed that they use the moon and the sun to get directions. But what about those nights the moon is hiding? The Milky Way does the job!

They do a little dance to figure out where they are in the galaxy. The Milky Way is kinda like a dung disco ball for the beetles. Once they know where they need to go, they make a run for it! Dung beetles are very possessive of their dung balls.

Researchers grabbed a bunch of dung beetles and brought them to a planetarium. When they turned the Milky Way on, the beetles knew where to go. When they turned it off, they got lost and ended up in the Jupiter exhibit 2 floors down.

This was, literally, stinky for Jupiter. Since they now have to clean up dung balls not JUST in the planetarium room, but in the elevator and on Jupiter, too!

Of course, as pirates, the dung beetles were kind of ignored. Their "booty" (as pirates would say) was less a pile of gold and jewels and more a pile of dung.

They did have great galactic disco parties, though. Andromeda is totally jealous.

I'm off to disco under the Milky Way.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj