the lack of a need for speed

Ketchup (or catsup) moves at a whopping .028 miles per hour.

A slug (or slugsup) moves at a blazing .030 miles per hour.

If you're too hip to know what those things are, it's like the difference between 3G and 4G on your multi-purpose mobile device (or #iPhonesup).

Us old school folks still use ketchup and slugs. I love ketchup. I love it almost as much as I love pickles. And you KNOW I love pickles! I love to dip pickles in ketchup. So goooooooood! Slugs...I don't know. I never tried them with pickles or ketchup.

Some people didn't like how slow ketchup moved out of the ketchup bottle. I agree. When I want my ketchup, I want it NOW. I do NOT like to wait for my food!

That's where the folks at MIT come in. They made a coating that goes onto a glass bottle that prevents stickage! Whatever is in the bottle will just slide right out!

This is perfect for gamblers who always lose when they put their money on the ketchup during those ketchup/slug races that we all love.

It's also good so you don't waste food. Because it won't be all stucks to the sides of the bottle.

Science: Making things faster than slugs for over 37 million years.

I'm off to race a slug.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

perfectly packed pickles, please

We are in the middle of International Pickle Week! Some of you may know that I'm a HUGE fan of the pickle. It is my favorite fruit/vegetable. I say fruit/vegetable because it is generally called a vegetable unless you go to court. By law, it is a fruit.

If you are ever in a law pickle where a pickle was used for something illegal, make sure you call it a fruit. The U.S. Supreme Court will (maybe) arrest you if you do not.

As much as I love pickles, I did NOT know there was an actual organization regulating pickles. Pickle Packers International has been "serving the pickled vegetable industry for over 100 years."

Or "pickled fruit industry" for you Supreme Courters.

The PPI has all sorts of great information on their website.

Wanna dance? Try the Pickle Polka!

Going out for a fancy date? You can buy some pickle earrings and a bracelet!

But they're not ALL fun & games! (Please ignore the fact that there is a "Fun & Games" section on their website.)

They will also test your pickle's crunch. For your pickle to be deemed an OFFICIAL pickle, it MUST have an audible crunch that can be heard from a minimum distance of 10 paces.

Anything less than that and the pickle is destroyed. And you are slapped with a much sturdier regulation pickle.

So be careful. I've been pickle-slapped before. It hurts.

Luckily, I was able to eat it after. And the Vitamin K healed my wounds. (In case you forgot, pickles are jam-packed with Vitamin K. And Vitamin K has been unproven to heal all wounds.)

I'm off to pickle polka.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj