smell ya later

Let me get nasally nostalgic on you here. Nasalgic, I think, is the technical term.

Do you ever smell something and it reminds you of a moment from your childhood? That happened to me the other day. First, some backstory. Don’t worry, it’s really quick.

When I was a kid, Sunday morning was Donut Morning! Then we would visit my grandfather and uncles. It was awesome.

See? Super short story! But you needed to know it because that is what I thought about the other day!

I went to the gym, and when I got out of the car, the smell in the air reminded me of one of those mornings. I am not totally sure why.

Now, it’s possible that there was something in the air that smelled like my grandfather’s house. Also, there IS a Dunkin’ Donuts near my gym. So the smell of donuts COULD have been around. (Also, a great marketing move!)

Oddly enough, there is also a food processing plant next door. Which smells like ketchup most of the time. I don’t think they make catsup, but I don’t ask questions…not after what happened last year.

Anywhooooo, the air smelled like Donut Sunday.

I tell you all of this because a company in Paris has created an oPhone! For olfactory funness where you can text smells to people! Instead of just texting an emoji of a cup of coffee, the phone will emit a coffee smell!

So far, they’ve sent the smell of bread, flowers, and “the smell of Paris 300 years ago.”

I’m not sure if that’s something you want to send. People didn’t really shower much back then, so…you know...not flowery.

You know what’s a better smell? Donut Sunday! That’s what I would like you to text me. Actually, just bring me a donut. And a coffee. And a sundae. On a Sunday. Just text me that every day is Donut Sunday. I don’t care if it smells. In fact, please make it NOT smell.

I’m off to wax nostalgic. With scented candle wax.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

candy, catsup, coins, and canada

What’s up with this?! How come all the good stuff happens in Canada?!

Seriously. I mean, I’ve praised Canada a million times for the amazing candy they sell there.

Sugar is practically the major food group in these United States! (At least, it is for me. It should be for you, too.) But for some reason, you can’t find a Wunderbar or a Coffee Crisp here. I have NO idea why.

Editor’s Note: If you never had a Wunderbar, find one. Imagine a Butterfinger and a Caramello having a baby. THAT is a Wunderbar. Also known as heaven.

Another Editor's Note: It's not a real baby. Don't eat babies.

If we’re not eating candy, we’re probably having potato chips. Lately, I’ve seen more and more catsup/ketchup chips in the United States. But I couldn’t find them for years. And even now that I CAN find them, none taste as good as the Canadian ones.

It’s weird that it took so long. I mean, we put catsup/ketchup on fries all the time. Why not chips?

But I digress. More than usual. The REAL reason I’m alliterating my headline comes down to money. Specifically…coins. Even morer specificallyer…Superman.

Canada is minting Superman coins! For his 75th birthday! Why isn’t the United States doing this?

If you don’t know, Superman was created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. Joe was born in Toronto, but Jerry was born in Cleveland! And Superman was created in Cleveland!

I think it’s only fitting to put Superman on every denomination of our currency. Presidents on bills are lame. Supermans on bills is AWESOME.

Can I order Superman coins from Canada? Sure. Would I rather get Superman from my ATM. YES!

At least Canada knows how to mint money!

I’m off to make it minter.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the lack of a need for speed

Ketchup (or catsup) moves at a whopping .028 miles per hour.

A slug (or slugsup) moves at a blazing .030 miles per hour.

If you're too hip to know what those things are, it's like the difference between 3G and 4G on your multi-purpose mobile device (or #iPhonesup).

Us old school folks still use ketchup and slugs. I love ketchup. I love it almost as much as I love pickles. And you KNOW I love pickles! I love to dip pickles in ketchup. So goooooooood! Slugs...I don't know. I never tried them with pickles or ketchup.

Some people didn't like how slow ketchup moved out of the ketchup bottle. I agree. When I want my ketchup, I want it NOW. I do NOT like to wait for my food!

That's where the folks at MIT come in. They made a coating that goes onto a glass bottle that prevents stickage! Whatever is in the bottle will just slide right out!

This is perfect for gamblers who always lose when they put their money on the ketchup during those ketchup/slug races that we all love.

It's also good so you don't waste food. Because it won't be all stucks to the sides of the bottle.

Science: Making things faster than slugs for over 37 million years.

I'm off to race a slug.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj