fields of gold

Want to grow some gold? You can! Science has created plants that will give you gold!

Okay, it's not like you're planting a gold ring and then a gold tree will bloom. Well, it might. I don't know for sure. You should try it just in case!

Plants are pretty amazing. They do this thing called phytomining. When they do that, they pull up metal from the soil into the plant when they're growing. So, when they're sucking up nutrients, cadmium might come up as well!

Plants that do this are (awesomely) called hyperaccumulators. I want that hyperaccumulators!

Me: "How can I run even faster than fast? My new shoes make me run really, really fast. But I want even faster!"

Merchant: "What you need is a hyperaccumulator! I have three in stock! It will cost you 20 Rupees."

Me: "Deal!"

Dah dah dah daaaaaaaah! (Somebody might get that joke.)

Scientists are hard at work to make a mustard plant that will phytomine gold. Then, you won't have to go into caves for gold. You just go to your mustard plant and eat the gold!

On a side note, I do tons of research for every article I write.  (That's not entirely true.) I looked up Sting's "Fields of Gold" song online and found the CD insert for the single. So...why is Sting holding a lightsaber in the picture?

Is Sting a Jedi?! That would totally make sense! I can't believe I never guessed that before!

With songs like "Message in a Bantha" and "Every Little Thing She Does Is the Force," how could he NOT be a Jedi!

My mind may or may not have just blown.

I'm off to hyperaccumulate.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

bees knees run away

There's a bee problem. They are leaving. There are a lot of theories as to why this is happening. The latest one says pesticides are the problem.

But, are bees really dying? Or are they leaving on purpose?

Here's what we should REALLY be afraid of: The bees know something we humans (and any other species that might read my words) don't know.

What aren't the bees telling us?! Why are they keeping secrets?!

Can they sense an attack from some evil underground dragon? Or maybe they can hear the signals from aliens who are ready to attack us? TELL US WHAT IS GOING ON, BEES!

True story (probably not): When I was 14, I nursed an injured bee back to health. It broke its wing and I put a tiny cast on it and fed it honey and pollen until it could fly again. We shared lots of heart warming moments while acoustic guitars and pianos played in the background. It was very emotional.

So bees, if you are reading this, save me. And a few other people I like. And everybody who makes comic books. So I can still read them.

And stinging me (actually did happen) is NOT a good way to pay me back. Seriously. I cried when that happened.

So, you owe me. Like, twice.

I'm off to nurse a bee.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj