get your groove on and your boson

If you love science, put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't show any emotions!

There was a big announcement the other day letting us know that the Higgs boson most likely exists. One of the physicists is quoted as saying, "It is very much a smoking duck that walks and quacks like the Higgs."

Which pretty much means...well...I don't know what that means. Because that statement makes NO sense. That is why I love it and have said it 30 times today in response to unrelated questions.

You: "How's the day going? Working hard or hardly working?"

Me: "It is very much a smoking duck that walks and quacks like the Higgs."

You: "Riiiiiiight..."

Other You: "How about those fireworks last night? Pretty sweet, right?!"

Me: "It is very much a smoking duck that walks and quacks like the Higgs."

Other You: "I heard that!"

Cleary one of you understands me better than the other you.

Basically, all you need to know is that we want the Higgs boson to exist because if it does, it helps to explain how the universe formed. If it doesn't exist, my theory of "I made it when I was bored and was playing with quarks" becomes the prominent theory.

Hawking keeps telling me that my theory is dumb. I tell him to stick his head in a black hole. (Get it! That's funny because he writes about black holes! ...it's funny to some people...)

Oh! BTW! I broke another plate yesterday! What's up with that?! It is very much a smoking duck that walks and quacks like the Higgs.

I'm off to buy new plates.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

are car bumpers unhappy?

I know how to drive an automobile. Or, as the kids call it, a horseless carriage. And sometimes, when the police are not patrolling, I am actually allowed to drive places!

It's a lot of fun. But I do it responsibly. Partly because I like safety. Mostly because I don't want to go to jail.

For the past few weeks, I've noticed something odd during my driving adventures.

Car bumpers.

YEP! They're everywhere! Just sitting there on the side of the road!

Now, I bet you're wondering "Why would car bumpers just abandon the rest of their car bodies?"

I have 37 theories. 26 involve ninjas. 5 require large red dragons. 3 rely on theoretical physics. And 2 need me in space.

There is one other theory, but it's just too crazy to even mention. But, just in case, if you see a dinosaur with stars instead of horns that knows how to recite Shakespeare and rides on a blue cloud, please tell me. That would totally confirm my last theory.

I'd love to hear your theories. But I'm sure I already thought of it. I mean, I do have 37 of them. That's kind of a lot.

I'm off to check my bumper for ninjas.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj