hello kitty

So there was a lot of news recently about Hello Kitty. It’s coming up on the 40th anniversary of Hello Kitty and during some research, one reporter found out that Kitty is NOT a cat!

This shocked every human on the planet.

Kitty White is the character that you see with Hello Kitty. They don’t really say what species she is. Just that she is a “happy little girl.” She only resembles a cat. She actually has a cat, so she can’t be a cat. That would be weird.

I’m not ashamed to say that I have always thought Hello Kitty products were cute. I mean look at that bow! It’s adorable! How can you not love it?!

On their website you can find all sorts of wonderful information about Kitty and her friends and family. Did you know she enjoys collecting stars, making pancakes, and eating cookies?

Did you know that I enjoy the same things! Also! Bonus Fact! We are both Scorpios!

I bet we would be best friends if I wasn’t human or cat and just a gender. Which is still possibly true. I don’t really know.

She also has a twin sister. That has to be hard on Mimmy. I mean, her sister is an international sensation. I’m sure Mimmy is happy for her, but still, LOTS of pressure.

Also, she has a seal living in her backyard. Mori the seal just sunbathes there. I don't know if that's legal. Mori IS a seal, too. She doesn’t just look like one.

See, some of her friends ARE animals. Others are just assigned a gender. I can understand why people would be confused.

I hope your life isn’t too shaken by the “not-a-cat” news. I’m sorry if I shocked you. But you deserved to know.

I’m off to make pancakes and collect stars.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

supertrain to the rescue

Before I get to my Supertrain, I have to tell you about my trip to DC! Not the whole thing because that would probably bore you. Only parts that are VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.

For example, the National Museum of Natural History and the National Air and Space Museum are totally awesome. You should visit them a lot.

Inside the Air and Space Museum is a small TV in one corner of a room. On this TV is a video on a loop. Recorded on this video is "Scott Hamilton Skates the Universe."

It is Scott Hamilton doing his skating of figures through stars and galaxies and suns and stuff. It is completely real.

I have no words to describe it. Eric Idle sings the "Galaxy Song" on it, too. I leave it to your imagination how amazing it is.

ALSO! I got a library card for the  Library of Congress! I can officially take out a member of Congress for up to two weeks and return them when I'm done! If I'm late, it's a $100 trillion fine every day after.

And finally...approximately as powerful as a locomotive, and not quite faster than (more like the same speed as) a locomotive, and able to get around buildings if there is track on the ground...it's SUPERTRAIN!

On the trip home, the train had to rescue another train! I guess a train going to Boston broke. My Hartford train heard the call and quickly came to rescue the Boston train.

This was a train-to-train transfer. We parked right next to the other train, put down a little bridge between the doors and people had to get on the Hartford train!

Then, Supertrain quickly got everybody to safety. Hooray Train of Steel!

That was my trip. You should do the exact same thing for your vacation.

I'm off to skate the universe with a member of Congress. And Scott Hamilton.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

lots of stuff...IN SPACE

India shot a bunch of Canadian stuff into space today! I don't know why today. (Or why it's in India.) Maybe everything just happened to be ready to go to space at the same time and they thought they would kill seven escape velocities with a single rocket. In India.

First, let me tell you about the "Canadian Suitcase." That's the unofficial name for it. I use that name because the official name is LAME. The Canadian Space Agency's Near-Earth Object Surveillance Satellite. Or NEOSSat. Seriously. That's what they call it for short.

Granted, I'm not Canadian. NEOSSat might actually be a common word in Canada. Like Maple or Bacon. Maybe it's an ancient Canadian word meaning "maple bacon...in space!"

NEOSSat (or maple bacon in space) is going to look for asteroids and space junk. So we know what kind of stuff could fall on us.

For some reason, they did not put lasers on it to shoot space junk or asteroids.

ALSO going into space are the Bright Target Explorer (or betterly code-named BRITE) satellites. They are 2 super tiny space telescopes that will look at stars.

Also, no lasers. Which is weird because if stars or asteroids or junk star falling onto Earth, wouldn't we want to stop them?

NEOSSat: "Hey Earth! There's this giant asteroid coming right at you!"

BRITES: "Also, Earth, there are a bunch of stars falling on you, too!"

EARTH: "As unlikely as all that seems, why don't you laser them or something!"

NEOSSat: "Um...we were built without lasers."

BRITES: "Yeah... ... ...awkward..."

EARTH: "Who built you?!"

NEOSSat/BRITES: "Canada."

EARTH: "Curse you Canada! Stop maple-ing bacon and start lasering!!!"

And that is why we can't have nice things.

I'm off to maple my bacon.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the celestial manatee

This makes me so happy.

Sadly, a star died. About 20,000 years ago. Luckily, it left a bunch of gas around it called a nebula. This nebula looks like a manatee!

Yes! The majestic sea creature!

Some people seem to think that W50, aka the Manatee Nebula, aka (by me) The Celestial Manatee, is just a fluke. That's not true for multiple reasons.

One: A fluke is a fish. Manatees are mammals.

B: That would imply this shape happened by accident. It did not. It's a sign from the heavens!

The Celestial Manatee is an adorable, peace-bringing creature teaching us to slow down and appreciate life!

Be curious! Try to learn about things! Unless those things are propelled-driven boats. Be less curious about those.

Sleep! Like, half the day! Then don't get TOO crazy moving around. Just graze a little.

The Celestial Manatee wants you to relax. That's why it came to our universe. It used its manatee-sense and found out that people are too busy and that the world is too hectic right now. It had to bring its manatee-based powers to us to save the world from...um...speeds over 5 mph.

Let's just hope there isn't a Celestial Propelled-Driven Boat nebula nearby. That would be bad.

I'm off to man a tea.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

are car bumpers unhappy?

I know how to drive an automobile. Or, as the kids call it, a horseless carriage. And sometimes, when the police are not patrolling, I am actually allowed to drive places!

It's a lot of fun. But I do it responsibly. Partly because I like safety. Mostly because I don't want to go to jail.

For the past few weeks, I've noticed something odd during my driving adventures.

Car bumpers.

YEP! They're everywhere! Just sitting there on the side of the road!

Now, I bet you're wondering "Why would car bumpers just abandon the rest of their car bodies?"

I have 37 theories. 26 involve ninjas. 5 require large red dragons. 3 rely on theoretical physics. And 2 need me in space.

There is one other theory, but it's just too crazy to even mention. But, just in case, if you see a dinosaur with stars instead of horns that knows how to recite Shakespeare and rides on a blue cloud, please tell me. That would totally confirm my last theory.

I'd love to hear your theories. But I'm sure I already thought of it. I mean, I do have 37 of them. That's kind of a lot.

I'm off to check my bumper for ninjas.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj