feeling socksy

I get cold feet a lot. I also have a problem with shoes feeling "just right" when I wear them. I think I may have figured out a solution to both problems.

Double the socks!

Oh yeah! This is how you work it! Two pairs of socks adds warmth AND cushioning! That's the kind of thing that I can get behind! And even stand upon!

I know it's a little weird. I don't know how many people do this. It could be very common. So far, I've been very happy with the results.

The ONLY problem is that I might have double the sock-laundry. But socks are small and don't take up too much room in the washing machine.

If I start going TRIPLE sock, THEN we may need to start using an extra machine. And another quarter in the dryer.

Wait...there might be another problem.

Summer.

Will my feet be too hot in the summer? Will I get so used to this amazing squishy feeling of cotton on cotton that I don't ever want it to stop?!

I suppose I could cross that bridge when there is, in fact, a bridge to cross.

Bridges are pretty cool. The way they raise you up. I think I would like to build a small bridge in my apartment. Then I could have a river.

Walking across the bridge would feel great because of all that cotton on my foot-bottom!

It will also feel great because I'm magically walking on/over water. I'm floaty like that.

I'm off to get four socks.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

liquid gold

Tide. The detergent. It's called "liquid gold" on the black market. Because people are stealing it and selling it.

On the black market.

Detergent. For clothes.

It's not illegal or anything. You can still buy it in the store. Of ALL the stuff you COULD sell on the black market, you chose Tide?!

What is going on in America?! Why not sell something illegal? Like lasers or cloned dinosaurs? At least those are cool!

You: "Oh fuzzles...I ran out of detergent. What will I ever do."

Me: "I might know a guy who could help you out."

You: "What? Really? How?"

Me: "He may or may not be in a back alley and he may or may not have Tide."

You: "You mean the stuff I can buy in any store anywhere?"

Me: "Yes."

You: "Okay. Yeah. That's helpful. Because IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN'T GET THAT EVERYWHERE! You know what would be really useful? A LASER OR A DINOSAUR! DO YOU KNOW A GUY WHO CAN GET ME ONE OF THOSE?!

Me: "...no..."

You: "Then let me do my big laundry!"

Wow...you didn't have to yell at me in that scenario. And it wasn't that big. I've seen bigger laundry.

I'm off to find a dinosaur guy.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

ps. I know it's Pi day for 3/14 (3.14). But I JUST talked about Pi a few days ago. So go back to the Feb. 28 post. It'll be funny again. Pi promise.