give me a beak

Wouldn’t you rather have a beak instead of teeth to eat your food? Isn’t it such a chore to keep chewing everything and crunching stuff all the time? 

Yes! It is! That’s why we should have beaks and just poke at stuff! SO much easier! 

At least, that’s according to one biologist who says it could actually be possible that evolution will fuse our teeth together and create a beak. 

He makes a good point. Our teeth are lazy. We only change our teeth once. ONCE! Other creatures grow new teeth all the time! So, it makes sense that they keep using them!

Humans just get two sets! How lame is that?! If we had beaks, we wouldn’t have to worry about all these teeth issues we have. 

I think I would look pretty good with a beak. A lot of birds are really cute. 

In fact, I think I would just like to evolve into a bird. Because I could fly. 

Maybe I’ll stay human, but have bird wings and a beak. Then I could fly and eat seeds, but also walk and buy shoes and belts. 

I like my shoes and belts a lot. That is why I want to keep them. 

The only thing that COULD be a problem would be gum. I’ve never seen a bird chew gum. I think you would need teeth for that, right? 

I’m no gum expert, but it seems likely that gum sales would go down if we had beaks. 

Gummy worm sales would go way up, though. Since it would be the ideal treat for a bird! 

You know what they say! The early bird/human hybrid catches the sale on gummy worms at CVS! 

At least that’s what I say every day! 

I’m off to beak fast.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

feeling socksy

I get cold feet a lot. I also have a problem with shoes feeling "just right" when I wear them. I think I may have figured out a solution to both problems.

Double the socks!

Oh yeah! This is how you work it! Two pairs of socks adds warmth AND cushioning! That's the kind of thing that I can get behind! And even stand upon!

I know it's a little weird. I don't know how many people do this. It could be very common. So far, I've been very happy with the results.

The ONLY problem is that I might have double the sock-laundry. But socks are small and don't take up too much room in the washing machine.

If I start going TRIPLE sock, THEN we may need to start using an extra machine. And another quarter in the dryer.

Wait...there might be another problem.

Summer.

Will my feet be too hot in the summer? Will I get so used to this amazing squishy feeling of cotton on cotton that I don't ever want it to stop?!

I suppose I could cross that bridge when there is, in fact, a bridge to cross.

Bridges are pretty cool. The way they raise you up. I think I would like to build a small bridge in my apartment. Then I could have a river.

Walking across the bridge would feel great because of all that cotton on my foot-bottom!

It will also feel great because I'm magically walking on/over water. I'm floaty like that.

I'm off to get four socks.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj