honey laundering

As much as I wish I thought of that term, I did not. But it IS real!

I love honey. I may have said that before, but I would like to say it again. I LOVE HONEY! I use it for pretty much everything in my life. EVERYTHING.

Okay, I have never used honey to do my laundry, but that's not what this article is about. Now that I think about it, though, I feel like adding honey to the washing machine might be a great idea. Kids, try that at home. Let me know what happens. Don't tell your parents who told you to do it. Pretend it was totally your idea. Because you're super smart.

Turns out honey is big business. Big enough to have "counterfeit" honey come into the country! YES! Some unsavory companies have been selling honey that is not actually honey at all! Just corn syrup and sugar!

Now, I would never complain about chugging a jug (a jug chug) of corn syrup and sugar, but not when I want pure, unadulterated honey!

Luckily, astronomy has found a way to save you from funny honey. A laser isotope ratio-meter can analyze your honey to tell you exactly where it came from! Right down to the longitude and latitude of the flower petals!

What? You don't have a laser isotope ratio-meter? Why not?! Don't you search for methane gas on Mars a few times a week?

You should be! It's fun! I do it almost every day! While sipping a jug of honey!

I'm like Neil deGrasse Tyson. If Neil deGrasse Tyson were Winnie the Pooh.

Can we actually make that happen for a children's book series? That would combine my two idols and my love of honey. Thanks.

I'm off to Hayden Planetarium at Pooh Corner.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

feeling socksy

I get cold feet a lot. I also have a problem with shoes feeling "just right" when I wear them. I think I may have figured out a solution to both problems.

Double the socks!

Oh yeah! This is how you work it! Two pairs of socks adds warmth AND cushioning! That's the kind of thing that I can get behind! And even stand upon!

I know it's a little weird. I don't know how many people do this. It could be very common. So far, I've been very happy with the results.

The ONLY problem is that I might have double the sock-laundry. But socks are small and don't take up too much room in the washing machine.

If I start going TRIPLE sock, THEN we may need to start using an extra machine. And another quarter in the dryer.

Wait...there might be another problem.

Summer.

Will my feet be too hot in the summer? Will I get so used to this amazing squishy feeling of cotton on cotton that I don't ever want it to stop?!

I suppose I could cross that bridge when there is, in fact, a bridge to cross.

Bridges are pretty cool. The way they raise you up. I think I would like to build a small bridge in my apartment. Then I could have a river.

Walking across the bridge would feel great because of all that cotton on my foot-bottom!

It will also feel great because I'm magically walking on/over water. I'm floaty like that.

I'm off to get four socks.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj