do you exist

I read a really interesting study about the likelihood of your existence. And mine, too. All of us!

This isn’t all existential. This is more like math. One guy said that the chances of you being born are about one in 400 trillion. That is, the odds of your parents meeting and then you being born at a particular time and all that stuff.

But! One scientist actually looked at it even FURTHER! He looked at MORE odds. Like the chances of your grandparents and great grandparents and every parent ever meeting! The fact that they met and then met again and got married and had children and so on and so on and so on!

He said, “The odds that you exist at all are basically zero.”

WHOA. Did your mind just get blown? It did.

So do we really exist?

Ha! I’m kidding. You do. I’m going to say that I actually exist because I’m here eating pistachios, getting salt on my keyboard, drinking coffee, pretending that my pet dragon is napping in the corner. That means I exist.

But the odds of me having this moment are so small that I should really treasure it! And so should you!

I know…this is getting very “uplifting.” But seriously! Think about it! You’re impossible! Yet, you’re here! Pretty cool, right?!

I promise I won’t try to be all positive for a long time. If you miss the craziness, just read the last post about being angry at mangos. It’s much more entertaining.

But, if you’re feeling a little grumbly, this might make you feel a little more giggly.

In a completely unrelated study that I made up, the odds of your Netflix freezing up during an important part of Breaking Bad are about 100% Totally Going To Happen.

You might be a miracle, but your internet speed is not.

I’m off to exist by not existing.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

triple isn't very big

I love cotton balls! They're so useful! I mean, when you need something cottoned, then they can totally get the job done! Except they are too small!

I even buy the triple size cotton balls. TRIPLE! I can't imagine what single size cotton balls would look like. They're probably microscopic. As in, you would need four super strong microscopes to even SEE them.

Not even being overdramatic, either.

I wish they made them a little bit bigger. I know triple sounds great. Like, triple size cupcakes would be cool. But at that point, would they just become "cake?"

At what size does a cupcake become a cake? Are they related? I have seen giant cupcakes, but they look like cake. So are they the same? Are they different species in the Edible Kingdom?

Where in evolution did the cake and the cupcake split?

These are questions that are way above my head. I may have the occasional existential crisis in life, but this is TOO existential.

"Occasional Existential" would be a good name for a band, though.

Unfortunately, existentially and unexistentially speaking, I still don't have a solution to my cotton balls.

"The Cotton Ball Solution" would also be a cool name for a band. Or a book. About cupcakes. And bunnies. OH! Maybe they travel through time and save the world!

Or not...I really gotta stop watching so much Doctor Who.

I'm off to get bigger cotton balls.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj