goldfish in d minor

Fish are musical geniuses! Science has proven it!

Researchers in Japan wanted to see if goldfish could figure out different musical compositions. So, they trained goldfish to tug on a string when Bach was playing.

If Stravinsky was playing, they weren’t supposed to do anything.

Being a Bach fan, I would pretty much do the same thing. Clearly these Goldfish have good taste. Except the one that tugged the string for Stravinsky. That goldfish and I don’t get along. You NEVER tug for Stravinsky.

There were over 100 training sessions to get the goldfish to learn that you tug on Bach. But it worked!

They can now distinguish The Rite of Spring from Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

And when they were listening to Robin Thicke, the fish would start twerking. Which is awesome and weird at the same time.

I had a fish once. Sammie. She was the best fish EVER. And after a few training sessions, she knew when it was feeding time! As soon as I picked up the food container, she would swim to the top. If I didn’t pick up the container, Sammie knew that nothing was happening.

Well, not exactly nothing. She knew it was time for me to talk about comic books for a few hours. I don’t think she liked that because she would keep tugging on the string.

I still don’t know why I had that string in there. Or why it was connected to my patent pending Bach Musical Machine. But, it was fun talking comics in G Major and listening to a Fugue in A Minor.

Then Sammie and I would talk medical advancements from 1734-1786.

Sammie also wrote a lot of classical music. They were mostly existential pieces about a plastic scuba diver. Sometimes they were about bubbles.

I’m off tug on Bach.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the colors of honey

I love honey. And I never thought it could get better, but France has figured out a trick to make a honey rainbow! Honey Rainbow would be a great name for a 60's folk musical act.

Actually...Honey Rainbow would be a great name for anything. You should name your next child Honey Rainbow. You'll thank me later.

In le France, bees love nectar. And by nectar, I mean M&M sugar! They've been eating colored sugar from the candy factor and using it to make their honey!

The honey is coming out green and blue! This is the greatest thing to hit honey since the pot!

For some reason, the honey-dealers aren't selling it. They say that it tastes like honey. It just has a different color.

Sooo...what's the problem? I don't know if they're just being stubborn, but they should sell it. Honestly, tell me, you'd buy all of it if you could, right?! It's green honey!

How is that NOT the coolest thing ever?!

What is wrong with French beekeepers?!

I'm going to go to Franceland and DEMAND that they sell it to me. If they say no, I will call upon my bee army to attack them.

Those bees worked HARD for that blue honey! They thought, "Wouldn't it be so nice of us to give our beekeeping friends something new to sell? To make them MORE MONEY than they've ever seen in their life?"

And those ungrateful beekeepers won't even sell it. That is an INSULT to the bees.

Bees don't like to be treated that way. They would protest with the music stylings of Honey Rainbow, but the time for peace has past.

I wants my green honey. And the bees want to attack.

I'm off to lead the bee-ttalion. (tee hee)

Enjoy Everything.

-dj