more candy corn goo

I did it. I bought the Oreo cookies that have a candy corn creme filling. I bet you didn't know that you could actually make a creme that tasted like candy corns. Well Oreo did it!

After only 100 years of research, the Oreo creme chefs have figured out the proper combination of sugar and artificial flavor to make a cookie with an orange and yellow filling that tastes like candy corn!

And again, as stated in an earlier entry, I don't really like candy corn. But I must say, again, that making a good food taste LIKE candy corn makes it taste good!

I don't understand HOW this happens, but it does. Consistently. I think the candy corn company should just stop making little hard nubbies of yuckiness and sell their flavor to every other food product.

Like a candy corn Hot Pocket!

Maybe you could make a candy corn flavor for Lysol spray! You can't eat it, though. You can only kill germs with it. Candy cornish germs.

Do they make a candy corn coffee???  If not, they should! Forget that pumpkin spice! That's so last Halloween!

What about a candy corn vegetable dip?! What's better with celery than a glob of candy corn goo hanging off the end!

NOTHING. That's what.

I know what you're thinking. "Why don't you go into the food making business and make millions of dollars with your brilliant candy corn ideas?"

I will answer that question with a holiday: Bastille Day.

I'm off to flavor my coffee.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

it's funnier when you go back in time

Editor's Note: Hi. I'm the editor. I'm also the writer. I'm also not very bright. I wrote this yesterday and got distracted by a tap-dancing horse and forgot to hit "post." This is REALLY funny if you read it yesterday. Well...maybe not funny...but RELEVANT! Which is almost like funny.

Happy birthday aspirin!

Or, as I like to call it, acetylsalicylic acid!

Well, not "call" it...I guess "sing" it is more accurate.

I once wrote a song in an elevator about acetylsalicylic acid. I was working on a new album based on over-the-counter medicines and I do my best work when I'm taunting gravity.

Would you like to learn the song? It's pretty simple. Just sing "acetylsalicylic acid" over and over again!

I know. It's kinda brilliant. I'm like that.

It is also the 100th birthday of the Oreo cookie! Which is a different kind of medicine. You can buy it over-the-counter, but you should really get the prescription-strength stuff. It's much better for you.

I have no songs for Oreo cookies. I'm sure I could think of one, but I have to go into the elevator for it.

There is a song about sodium, but I didn't write that one. It's still a good song, though.

Maybe I can combine all three. Not to eat. For a song.

Or maybe to eat...hmmm...salt and aspirin Oreo cookies?

That sounds like a tasty number 1 single!

I'm off to ride the elevator.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj