pie from the sky

I don’t claim to understand what’s happening between North and South Korea. I know they don’t talk much. Well, maybe they talk a lot, but not all the words are very nice.

The North runs a pretty tight ship. The South is a little more free-wheelin. (A term I probably won’t ever use again. That’s not true, I love it.)

Clearly, I know almost nothing about Korea. So don’t use me as a resource when writing your Social Studies paper.

I DO know that the South loves to make Choco Pies! They’re basically a Moon Pie. Two slices of cake with marshmallow in the middle and then covered with chocolate. If you never had one, it’s delicious!

They used to deliver these to the North all the time because, as stated earlier, THEY ARE DELICIOUS. But the North has decided that Choco Pies are now banned as a symbol of capitalism. I have no idea why. Are CEOs paid with pastries?! How did I not know this?! I need to become a CEO!

The South decided that they could not live with that! They put 10,000 Choco Pies into balloons to fly over to the North and give the people Choco Pies!

Why can’t every conflict be fought this way?! It would be so much better!

General: “The bear claws are closing in on the border. What can we do?”

Major: “I don’t know, sir. They’ve put IEDs everywhere!”

General: “Hmmm…improvised eclair desserts. Not bad. They’re sloppy, but effective. We should start with a flan attack. If that doesn’t work, get the tarts ready. And if all else fails…we macaroon at noon.

Major: “Sir…you can’t be serious. What if they have jelly beans? What if they have pecans?! Pie, sir! What about their pie?!”

General: “Major! You will do as I say! We are at war…we live with the decisions we make. And regret the decisions we make. Every. Single. Day.

It’s a tough life dealing with confectionery conflicts and buttery battles.

I’m off to alliterate.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

pecan do it

That headline is funny if you pronounce “pecan” as “pee-can.” If you say “pih-kahn” or “pee-kahn,” then I’m not very clever. Let’s pretend I am very clever.

I just saw a shocking story. SHOCKING! The price of pecans is going up! Demand, bad weather, and pecan-stealing fairies have created the perfect economic storm!

I love pecan pie. It’s so good! If you’ve never had it, go buy one. Now. Get a real one, though. Like, REAL. It should taste like sugar and maple and pecan having a party in your mouth.

I was surprised how much I love pecan pie. Well, not TOO surprised. It is mostly sugar and if you put enough sugar on anything, it’s a good pie. Like sugar pie. You wouldn’t think that sugar alone would make a good pie, but put even MORE sugar on sugar, and you have a GREAT pie!

Why did the pecan get a pie? I love almonds and cashews. But they don’t have any pies, do they?

Oh! OH! OHHHHH! Wait! They do! After a quick search on the internet, I found a chocolate cashew and triple-almond pie WITH CHERRIES ON TOP!

Other nut-themed pies do NOT get the attention that pecan pie gets, but it sounds like they should! These sound fantastic!

I think I’m going to have a nut-themed pie party. Everybody will pick a nut. Then make a pie based on that nut. Then I will make t-shirts for everybody that says “I’m nuts about pies!” Or maybe "I'm pies about nuts!" Or both.

I’m going to have this celebration on Thanksgiving. Because that’s my favorite pie-based holiday. I know some people have turkey and stuff. I don’t know why. My family definitely celebrates it with pie. Lots and lots of pie.

Hopefully you don’t have a nut allergy. If you do…I’m so, so, so sorry. I will hold a moment of silence for you during my party. A moment to remember all the people who can’t have nuts without going on anaphylactic shock.

OR! I could serve EpiPens for dessert! So please come to the party anyway!

On a side note, ice cream pie also exists. Just thought you should know.

I’m off to nut some pies.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj