pecan do it

That headline is funny if you pronounce “pecan” as “pee-can.” If you say “pih-kahn” or “pee-kahn,” then I’m not very clever. Let’s pretend I am very clever.

I just saw a shocking story. SHOCKING! The price of pecans is going up! Demand, bad weather, and pecan-stealing fairies have created the perfect economic storm!

I love pecan pie. It’s so good! If you’ve never had it, go buy one. Now. Get a real one, though. Like, REAL. It should taste like sugar and maple and pecan having a party in your mouth.

I was surprised how much I love pecan pie. Well, not TOO surprised. It is mostly sugar and if you put enough sugar on anything, it’s a good pie. Like sugar pie. You wouldn’t think that sugar alone would make a good pie, but put even MORE sugar on sugar, and you have a GREAT pie!

Why did the pecan get a pie? I love almonds and cashews. But they don’t have any pies, do they?

Oh! OH! OHHHHH! Wait! They do! After a quick search on the internet, I found a chocolate cashew and triple-almond pie WITH CHERRIES ON TOP!

Other nut-themed pies do NOT get the attention that pecan pie gets, but it sounds like they should! These sound fantastic!

I think I’m going to have a nut-themed pie party. Everybody will pick a nut. Then make a pie based on that nut. Then I will make t-shirts for everybody that says “I’m nuts about pies!” Or maybe "I'm pies about nuts!" Or both.

I’m going to have this celebration on Thanksgiving. Because that’s my favorite pie-based holiday. I know some people have turkey and stuff. I don’t know why. My family definitely celebrates it with pie. Lots and lots of pie.

Hopefully you don’t have a nut allergy. If you do…I’m so, so, so sorry. I will hold a moment of silence for you during my party. A moment to remember all the people who can’t have nuts without going on anaphylactic shock.

OR! I could serve EpiPens for dessert! So please come to the party anyway!

On a side note, ice cream pie also exists. Just thought you should know.

I’m off to nut some pies.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

all aboard the chocolate train

Well, it's Thanksgiving Eve! The night we put out gourds for Gobble Claus to snack on while he delivers giblets and pies to all the good children.

AND, it looks like Gobble got my Thanksgiving letter this year! I asked for a train made of chocolate and it's here!

I don't know why he delivered it to Brussels. I guess it ran out of chocolate steam. Had to stop there. I'm sure it will be delivered to my house soon. To pick me up. So I can go on a trip around the world.

Then, after that, I can eat it. It's 2,755 pounds. 112 feet long. And ONLY has 6.5 MILLION calories!

That is the kind of train I can get aboard! I think I will travel on it all day on Thanksgiving and toss out pies to everybody I see.

I'll be like a pie fairy.

Then I'll eat it. I don't want to eat it until after I ride it. I suppose I could snack a little while locomoting, but not the wheels. I'll just have pieces of roof in the warmer climates. Because I'm going around the world. In a chocolate train.

OH! I just thought of something! Instead of "locomotion," I'll be traveling in "chocomotion!" That's the best word ever!

My life is amazing!

I'm off to chocomote.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj