my phone is too big

That line is hilarious to two other people. One of them probably doesn’t even remember me. The other probably isn’t reading this right now.

But in my head, I’m laughing so hard that if I were drinking some sort of liquid, it would be coming out of my nose. And possibly other places as well.

I'm afraid this post will get all ranty and I apologize for that. (I don't really, I love to rant!)

I realize that I’m often different. I don’t know how it happened. I remember when I first got a smartphone. It wasn’t that long ago, so if I didn’t remember it, we would have to worry about my brain.

It’s a good phone. It does what I want. Calls people. Texts people. Checks twitter. Plays Words with Friend. Maybe someday I’ll get another friend and I can upgrade to Words with Friends.

The phone isn’t bleeding edge. It wasn’t even newish when I got it. It just does what I need. Now, it’s been a few years and I’m looking for a new phone, but I was hoping for something smaller.

WHAT?! SMALLER?!?! Who wants that?! Well…me, I guess. And apparently I’m the only one.

My phone has a 4.3-inch screen. Which is actually average to small these days. But I hate carrying around something so big!

So, I’m thinking of getting an iPhone 4s with a 3.5-inch screen. Because I'm very secure.

I really thought I would want a big screen, but I’m finding out that I really hate carrying it around.

Why am I talking about this? I have no idea. I just needed to vent. And my Friend from Words is sick of hearing about it.

Though, Apple doesn’t have Swype. Swype is a magical keyboard that makes me happier than peanut butter. You should try it.

But, I am a fan of items named after fruit. Especially apples. Apples are good.

But apples and peanut butter are even better.

I’m off to compare sizes.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

words with squid

A lot of people have mobile devices. Phones to play Words with Friends. Tablets to play Words with Friends. Scrabble boards to play Words with Friends.

Wait...maybe not that last one...

With all this need to play with words, the world needs to keep making mobile devices! And one is clearly not enough! That is why they predict that by the end of the year, there will be more mobile devices than humans.

That's right, it's our own fault that machines are taking over the world! You have no reason to get upset when they figure out how to laser you and control your brain. It's your own fault. Because you love friends and words.

Luckily, I'm prepared. When all your phones and tablets start sprouting legs and arms and lasers and flame throwers, I have a team of squid ready to fight back.

Not just any squid, FLYING squid. These things squirt water to propel themselves out of the ocean. Then fly, like, 100 feet!

With that kind of water pressure, they could totally just aim their squirters at the army of iPads and take them all down!

Unless computers figure out how to waterproof themselves.

Or if they buy raincoats.

I guess I didn't plan this too well. I should probably train the squid with some ninja moves, too.

I'm off to get 48 points on a triple word square with "squid."

Enjoy Everything.

-dj