buckingham presents

Sometimes I forget how cool it would be to be a part of the royal family at Buckingham Palace.

I mean, it seems like it’s kinda blah. Just being all princey or something. Having to do lots of public events and just smile a lot when I’d RATHER be sitting around reading comic books! In the Royal Comic Book Reading Room. (Which is currently a chair in my apartment.)

But maybe the events would be worth it! People just send them gifts all the time! Random gifts to say “Thank You” for being royalty!

Queen Elizabeth got a candy castle! I know! That would be so perfect for me. If you ever walked into my dreams, you have seen that I live in a candy castle with my pet unicorn, Starglitter.

Starglitter and I eat the castle every day. Then fall asleep in a sugary haze. Then wake up the next morning to a new candy castle!

My dreams are awesomer than yours. So feel free to join me in mine and get some candy.

Apparently nobody likes Prince Phillip. He got a wooden box. That’s it. I’ve never met Prince Phillip, so maybe he’s into that sort of thing. He might have a whole wooden box collection. Which would make him a…very…exciting person…

Princess Anne got some sweet stuff! She got a garden gnome AND a painting of her riding a moose!

Garden gnomes are always helpful. Especially in gardens. Perhaps they work well in wooden boxes. I don’t know.

But a painting of her riding a moose?! What would compel you to even paint that? Why a moose? Is she an actual moose-rider? Is this something people do?

And why wasn’t the garden gnome in the picture? THAT would have been a cool gift. I would like a copy of that painting for my Reading Room/Chair.

I’m off to find a gnome with a paint brush.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

yeah yeah yeah

Yeah!

That’s all you needed to hear isn’t it? Now you will believe EVERYTHING I SAY.

According to MIT you will! They found out that “yeah” is the “most persuasive word” in business. It will help you get your way and make people trust you.

Other strong words are “meeting” and “start.”

Trusting me so far? I bet you are! Yeah! Trust me!

I am going to start putting “yeah” into everything I say. I might just put it in random spots. You know, to instill even MORE trustiness!

I think I’ll gather everybody I know and tell them this:

Let’s START the MEETING about why I need more money and candy and a pet porcupine. YEAH! MEETING time! I would like to START by saying that building me a candy castle is the best idea ever. We should START making this castle immediately. We can have a MEETING about this building soon. YEAH, building this castle is a great idea. Also, the moat should be filled with chocolate. YEAH, chocolate. Let’s START the MEETING about the chocolate moat tomorrow. YEAH!

How about that?! Don’t you trust me now?! You find my words VERY PERSUASIVE! Do my bidding!

YEAH! You will! Because I used the MOST POWERFUL WORD IN BUSINESS! I used it excessively, which means, you will trust me excessively.

Do you want stuff to? Us it yourself!

Do you want a robot to hang your laundry? YEAH!

Do you want a cake made out of cookies? YEAH!

Do you want a stick of artificially-flavored, minty gum?! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

All these things and so much more can be yours! Yeah!

I’m off to START a MEETING. YEAH.

Enjoy Everything. Yeah.

-dj