buckingham presents

Sometimes I forget how cool it would be to be a part of the royal family at Buckingham Palace.

I mean, it seems like it’s kinda blah. Just being all princey or something. Having to do lots of public events and just smile a lot when I’d RATHER be sitting around reading comic books! In the Royal Comic Book Reading Room. (Which is currently a chair in my apartment.)

But maybe the events would be worth it! People just send them gifts all the time! Random gifts to say “Thank You” for being royalty!

Queen Elizabeth got a candy castle! I know! That would be so perfect for me. If you ever walked into my dreams, you have seen that I live in a candy castle with my pet unicorn, Starglitter.

Starglitter and I eat the castle every day. Then fall asleep in a sugary haze. Then wake up the next morning to a new candy castle!

My dreams are awesomer than yours. So feel free to join me in mine and get some candy.

Apparently nobody likes Prince Phillip. He got a wooden box. That’s it. I’ve never met Prince Phillip, so maybe he’s into that sort of thing. He might have a whole wooden box collection. Which would make him a…very…exciting person…

Princess Anne got some sweet stuff! She got a garden gnome AND a painting of her riding a moose!

Garden gnomes are always helpful. Especially in gardens. Perhaps they work well in wooden boxes. I don’t know.

But a painting of her riding a moose?! What would compel you to even paint that? Why a moose? Is she an actual moose-rider? Is this something people do?

And why wasn’t the garden gnome in the picture? THAT would have been a cool gift. I would like a copy of that painting for my Reading Room/Chair.

I’m off to find a gnome with a paint brush.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

canada's current currency

I know a lot of people make jokes about Canada. I may have done it in the past. BUT! I also praise Canada for their amazing candy and snack foods! They have all sorts of stuff up there that you just can't get in our boring country.

Money is something else that Canada decided to make funner. It's awesome! It's all different colors and stuff. How fun is that?!

Not fun enough for the Royal Canadian Mint! They said that it needs be even funnerer!

They have just created the glow-in-the-dark dinosaur quarter!!!!!!!!!

I am NOT kidding!

On one side is a pachyrhinosaurus lakustai. It looks like what most dinosaurs look like. But turn the lights off, and you see the glowing skeleton of the dinosaur!

Why isn't all American money like that! I WANT GLOWY MONEY!

On the other side is Queen Elizabeth.

Her skull does not glow. But that would have been awesome.

I have a lot of big change transactions happening in dark places at night and if I could see the glowing skull of George Washington when I made these...transactions...I wouldn't have to worry so much about dropping my quarters!

I'm sure you have the same problem. Though, I don't know if you do what I do at night.

I'm not allowed to talk about it, but let's say that if I didn't do what I do, Mars and Venus might not be so friendly.

Maybe I can transfer to Canada so I can use dinosaur money.

Or maybe you can write to your state representative and let them know you want glow-in-the-dark money.

Because Canada has it. And we don't want to look uncool to Canada.

I'm off to the border.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj