raining diamonds

New research has found that Jupiter and Saturn might be filled with DIAMONDS! They’re just floating around in there. Waiting to be picked by anyone able to make the trip there.

Now, those are some pretty big planets. Like, HUGE planets. So they think there might be GIANT diamonds there. What they call “diamondbergs.”

I bet the Titanic would have LOVED to crash into one of those! That would have changed the entire movie!

Jack: Never let go.

Rose: I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never…OH! Look! A giant diamond! Let me see if I can get some diamonds, ok Jack? Jack?

There aren’t only diamondbergs, but also liquid diamond! YES! I guess they get close to the planet’s core and melt.

Imagine swimming in a pool filled with liquid diamond! That is what I call luxury!

Me: Would you like to go for a swim in my liquid diamond pool?

You: I would love to. Do you have anything to drink?

Me: Here, have a refreshing glass of liquid diamond.

You: Do you also eat diamonds for food?

Me: I do. I use my diamond teeth to chew it. Why? Do you still have gold teeth and swim in liquid gold?!

You: …maybe…

Me: I don’t think we can be friends anymore.

And that was the conversation I had yesterday. On my Saturn estate. Because I’m rich like that.

I’m off to chug diamonds.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

trees, not birds

I know birds love trees. And that's great. I love trees. I have never made a nest in a tree, but I still love them.

Today is Arbor Day! And for some reason, people celebrate Bird Day at the same time!

Bird Day is NOT until May 4! PLEASE LET ARBOR CELEBRATE ALONE!

It's brutally unfair to arbors to throw birds into their day.

How would you like it if your birthday came a week before National Phone Day and all day long people put them together and were, like, "Tell your phone I said hello!"

"Oh, yeah...happy birthwhatever..."

How does that feel? Not good.

Do you want our perennial woody plants to feel that way?

I didn't think so.

So make sure you bring a little gift out for every tree you see today. Give it a hug and let it know how much you love it.

Buy expensive gifts, too. Like...diamonds...and candy. And let me know where all these trees are so I can...um...make sure the trees get their gifts and nobody steals it.

I'm just trying to do my part. Protecting the trees.

And don't say anything nice to birds today. They get their day next week. They can wait. Impatient, hollow-boned wing flappers...

I'm off to picnic with a tree.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj