what's my age again

I wasn't sure how to react to a woman who asked me if her son would ever calm down. I was getting coffee at a wonderfully-named national chain. I say wonderfully-named because, even though the company was created in the magical realm of Seattle, the name came from a fictional character from New England!

I also like to think that if I ever roamed the universe, I would use Star Bucks to pay for everything.

So it's kinda perfect. They also make my favorite sugar-filled coffee perfect every time.

Anywheezee, this lovely lady said that I reminded her of her 5-year-old son. He apparently gets very excited about a lot of things.

She asked me if that ever changes.

I said, "Nothing changes, fellow coffee-gettin-lady! You're in for a world of fun!"

Then I told her to read my blog. And put a little salt in her coffee. And watch as I ride the escalator like a whale!

(That's funny because of the Moby Dick reference!) (Look it up, it's hilarious!)

Then I ran back to her and said, "Nothing changes because I AM YOUR SON FROM THE FUTURE! And all of this is just a dream!"

(Don't worry real mom in the current timeline, I was just kidding with her. You are, in fact, my mother. From the present.)

I gave her a big hug and ran off with my coffee yummery and eluded security for a good fourteen minutes. They eventually caught me buying a  pretzel hugging a hot dog.

I told them that in the future these don't exist, so I would like one before I return.

They told me to leave and never return.

Which I did. With my pretzel/hot dog companion.

I'm off to find a Star ATM for some Star Bucks.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

curiosity kills with lasers

Curiosity landed on Mars!

This thing is EPIC! It's, like, a nuclear car. Driving around. ON MARS!

Curiosity will look around Mars to see if we can ever open a Starbucks there. Then maybe get people there, too. Starbucks first, though. That would be good.

Just in case any Martians say, "You can't have a Starbucks here!" Curiosity has a laser.

NASA "says" that this laser is there to shoot rocks. But we all know the truth. I saw John Carter (no I didn't), I know what's going on with Mars (no I don't).

I'm kidding, of course. I would never condone killing an alien species because they wouldn't let us build a Starbucks (yes I would). I'm sure the laser is only there for self-defense.

OH! Like if Saturn people try to invade! They're jerks! They think they own the universe and use their mind-beams to hit people and stuff!

I don't like them. I hope they do come to Mars and get all lasered. They deserve it. Especially after they called me names. Like "creature of mostly water" and "two-legged walker" and "doofus face."

Stinky Saturners. I'll go sat on their urn. (Ha! Good one, me.)

Maybe some day we'll have nuclear cars for Earth, too. That would be cool. Then we could explore Earth!

Who knows what we'd find there! I should let NASA know about this idea.

I'm off to Starbucks.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj