animals need tissues

Animals are getting sick. Maybe on purpose?

We had bird and piggy flu. Now we have to watch out for Seal Flu!

When it started with the birds, we thought it was a fluke ("fluke" as in accident, not the fish). Then the pigs got the flu, but it didn't seem too bad.

Now that seals want to give us the flu, a conspiracy arises. These animals are INFECTING THEMSELVES with the flu just to give us the sniffles!

Turtles don't do that. They actually try to avoid the flu by wearing little wool caps. Because they know how cute it looks.

Seals would look cute with wool caps, too. But they don't wear them. Because they want the flu.

Silly seals.

I think there are very few things that are cuter than turtles wearing little wool caps.

I also think that acorns don't get enough credit for growing into trees.

Did you know that it's good luck to put an acorn on your windowsill? It's supposed to protect you from getting struck by lightning. At least, that's what it did for Thor. I don't know why that matters to Thor, though. He can summon lightning, so I figure he can just unsummon it...right?

Maybe if I put some acorns in my nose and a wool cap on my head I won't get seal flu. Or struck by lightning.

Maybe that's not a good idea. Not after the marble incident.

Don't put marbles in your nose.

I'm off to find some acorns and wool.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

i shoot lightning from my hands

Well...maybe I don't. I'm not, like, a Sith Lord or anything. THEY do that all evilly. I would NEVER shoot lightning for evil. Only at evil.

The U.S. Army has a lab. A lab where they are creating a Lightning Laser! Like Thor's Hammer! Or a Sith's hands! But in laser form!

How cool would it be to just shoot lightning out of a gun?! Scientists have figured out how to create an energized plasma channel in the air! And SHAZAM! (Comic book lightning reference. Look it up and you'll laugh) You're hit by lightning!

According to the scientists, "We never get tired of the lightning bolts zapping our simulated (targets)."

Now THAT is what I call science!

Scientist One: "What should we do today?"

Scientist Two: "How about we shoot lightning at stuffs?"

Scientist One: "Didn't we do that yesterday? Aren't you bored of that?"

Scientist Two: (Puzzled look) "???"

Scientist One: "GAH! Got ya! I'm just messin' with ya! OF COURSE we'll shoot lightning! That's what scientists do! HAHA! You should have seen the look on your face!"

Scientist Two: "HA! You totally got me! I thought we were going to have to shoot lightning at you after that comment! HA HA!"

Scientist One: "...wait...what?"

Scientist Two: "...nothing...let's go shoot lightning at stuff..."

And THAT is how science works. So kids, you should grow up to be a scientist. It's awesome. And full of lightning.

I'm off to make a plasma channel.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj