give me a beak

Wouldn’t you rather have a beak instead of teeth to eat your food? Isn’t it such a chore to keep chewing everything and crunching stuff all the time? 

Yes! It is! That’s why we should have beaks and just poke at stuff! SO much easier! 

At least, that’s according to one biologist who says it could actually be possible that evolution will fuse our teeth together and create a beak. 

He makes a good point. Our teeth are lazy. We only change our teeth once. ONCE! Other creatures grow new teeth all the time! So, it makes sense that they keep using them!

Humans just get two sets! How lame is that?! If we had beaks, we wouldn’t have to worry about all these teeth issues we have. 

I think I would look pretty good with a beak. A lot of birds are really cute. 

In fact, I think I would just like to evolve into a bird. Because I could fly. 

Maybe I’ll stay human, but have bird wings and a beak. Then I could fly and eat seeds, but also walk and buy shoes and belts. 

I like my shoes and belts a lot. That is why I want to keep them. 

The only thing that COULD be a problem would be gum. I’ve never seen a bird chew gum. I think you would need teeth for that, right? 

I’m no gum expert, but it seems likely that gum sales would go down if we had beaks. 

Gummy worm sales would go way up, though. Since it would be the ideal treat for a bird! 

You know what they say! The early bird/human hybrid catches the sale on gummy worms at CVS! 

At least that’s what I say every day! 

I’m off to beak fast.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the fly of butter

Did you know that last Thursday was Learn About Butterflies Day? I know this because I have a pet butterfly that takes me on trips around the world.

I'm not tiny. The butterfly is actually huge. Like, airplane size. So it's a super comfy trip. Her name is Fufluns. She is magic.

Upon Fufluns' request, I started to think about how cool it is that a caterpillar turns into a butterfly! Have you REALLY sat down to think about this?! It LITERALLY becomes a new insect!

I know I say "literally" a lot. Especially when I mean figuratively but want to be more dramatic. This is NOT one of those times!

The caterpillar is born and has the BEST LIFE EVER because all it does is eat. THEN it forms the chrysalis by shedding its skin. YES. It just pushes its skin OFF.

Then, inside this chrysalis, it becomes goo and decides to completely reform itself into a TOTALLY NEW WINGED CREATURE. Can we take a moment to just wonder how incredible this is?

Can you imagine just shedding your skin into a case around you, turning to goo, and reforming your entire body into something else!

WHAT?! That's so crazy!

And why stop at wings?! I would give myself wings, a tail, a mane AND laser hands!

I don't know if that's biologically possible, but really, I'm caterfly goo, I do what I want.

I just wanted to make sure you knew that this happened in the world. Because, honestly, it's pretty, totally, incredibly radical.

I'm off to flutter by with a butterfly.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

spider on my wings

Let me start off by telling you how excited I am about something. I found out that those mirrors on the side of your car are called wings!

Yeah! The rear view mirror is the one IN the car, but the two that can have objects closer than they appear are called wings! (Also door mirror or side mirror.)

OUR CARS HAVE WINGS! (No Red Bull copyright issues...I hope...)

Take that, planes! You think you're so fancy with your wings and flights and stuff. My car has wings, too! And flight!

Well, on my driver's side wing, there was a spider. It was making a web. And I guess admiring its work at the same time. You know, because it was on a mirror. It was a very vain spider.

Wing-mirror-spider was doing its thing, but I had to go somewhere. So I started driving. On the highway. For 45 minutes! I got to my destination and the spider was still there!

It hung on the whole time!

How do these things do that?! I can't imagine holding onto a car for that long! Or at those speeds! I mean, my car can go pretty fast. I once got it up to 76 mph. THAT is really fast. Faster than a plane, I bet.

I figured that since the spider hung on the whole drive, it deserved to keep its home on my wing. I can't imagine it's a great home to catch flies and whatnot, but if the spider wants to stay, it gets to stay.

So Lysandra (the spider) had a new home. Well...did...until my drive home. Then Lysandra was gone.

That's your lesson for today. Don't name your pet wing-spider. They always leave after that.

I'm off to fly my car.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj