the sun sets in my eyes

Do you have a sun visor in your car? I do. I'm pretty sure most cars do. You might use it early in the morning or later in the day when the sun is trying to burn your eyes with its awesomeness.

My visor is pretty good. It can go low enough to help out. It's kinda short, though. Like, to the right. Because if the sun is next to my rearview mirror, it still cooks my brain. I'm thinking of buying some attachment to make it block a wider area.

Or maybe just duct tape some cardboard to the edge. Which would be cheaper and more fun to decorate. I have Sharpies.

As exciting as this whole conversation is (it's really not), I DO have a point. Are you like me and feel like you can’t see anything when your visor is down?

I know it's only blocking my vision of the sky. I can totally still see the road, so why am I so messed up by this? I think the only risk I have is maybe missing a bird flying by or a falling rock or a UFO (which I totally saw last night).

So why do I feel like I'm not seeing anything? I think it's all psychological. Which I think means it's all in my head.  But I am wondering if there is some fact to it.

OH! I heard the other day that stolen cars go to Mexico or overseas all the time. How random is that? Like, living in South Dakota, do you know how long it would take to get to Mexico? Or even get to a boat to go to China or something?!

That's crazy hard. I do NOT have the drive (pun intended) to become a car thief. They will work harder for one car than I'll probably ever work in my whole life. I don't know why they don't just find an easier job. I guess I'm too lazy for that.

And I hate getting the sun in my eyes and that's probably a real work hazard with car thieves.

I'm off to block out the sun.

Enjoy everything.

-dj

snails have teeth

Well that's something I didn't know! Did you? Did you also not know that snail teeth could make it easier to get a Prius?

They can! People who don't like running love to study snails. David Kisailus (who may or may not love to run) studies the gumboot chiton snail. Turns out this snail has a "conveyor belt-like arrangement of teeth." Which sounds totally scary, but isn't really.

Unless these snails eat some radioactive goo and grow huge. Then the conveyor belt of teeth will probably eat everything in the world. It would be impossible to fight this 50-foot snail because it will also have a shell. Let's hope they are peaceful snails of doom.

After a lot of big science words like ferrihydrite and nanocrystalline, the conveyor belt of teeth is kinda similar to the way we make lithium-ion batteries! Like for your phone or hybrid vehicle!

AND it does it at room temperature! Which sounds boring at first, but actually saves money on energy and cost! Making it cheaper to give you more phones and hybrid vehicles!

All of this snail/car talk reminds me of a joke I love. My brother told this to me once and I never forgot it. Partly because I did not get the joke at the time. Because I'm not too bright. When I did get the joke years later, I laughed for 3 days, 4 hours, and 28 minutes. Here is the joke that I hope gives you just as much enjoyment, if not more.

A snail goes to a car store. The car salesman shows the snail many cars. The snail says, "I'll take this car, but only if you paint a giant "S" on the side of it."

The car salesman says, "We can do that. May I ask why?"

The snail says, "Because when I drive down the street, I want everybody to shout, 'look at that S Car Go!'"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So funny! Hold on...I need a moment to catch my breath! Whew! Makes me laugh every time!

I'm off to paint an "S" on my car. You can guess why.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the loaner

I had to get my car fixed recently. There were some issues. I would explain to you what they were if I understood them.

I don't. I know there was a plug and a cap. Those were the only words I knew. The very helpful guy at the car place explained it to me many times. Each time I got confused.

Here's what I CAN tell you. My engine light came on. A lot. My car shook and shaked. And after the plug and the cap were both fixed, the light doesn't come on and there is less shakery.

During the car fixing time, I got to drive ANOTHER car! For a day! It was pretty awesome! They just gave this car to me! They totally trusted me with it!

This car didn't just come with regular car features. It came with extra "other people" treats! They left surprises for me.

I don't know if it's tradition to leave something in a loaner, but I left nothing. I didn't have anything fun to leave.

Somebody left 4 pennies. That was cool. Nothing fancy, but at least they left something.

There was also a round, pink tablet in the center cup holder. I have NO idea WHAT this pink tablet was. I didn't touch it. I just...stared at it. It looked like it had some sort of engraving on it, but it faded away.

It was like an ancient Egyptian artifact. I may never know what the pink tablet was truly meant for. I like to think it was for good luck.

There was also a picture for me! From Strawberry Shortcake. There was a picture of Raspberry Torte. Already colored in.

On the back of that, there was a maze! To get Strawberry to the Berry Bitty Boutique! The maze was NOT completed. I thought that if the next person who gets the car has a child, this will be a fun treat for them!

THAT is my gift in the loaner. I fought the urge to complete the maze so the next person could do it.

I'm very giving. I REALLY wanted to get to the Berry Bitty Boutique, too. They had some great hats and scarves.

Oh well. Maybe next time.

I'm off to rasp my berry.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

car tails

I saw a car with the sweeeeetest car tail ever! I guess they are technically called "spoilers" when it's on a car. But really, it's a tail.

This was NOT a sporty car at all. It was a regular sedan. And it had a tail that looked like it was from a whale. It was HUGE! And curved up on the sides!

It was the coolest thing I've ever seen! I have always been a fan of the car tail. But they are usually very subtle. And subtle is fine. But if you're going to put a tail (spoiler) on your car, why not make it a tail that says something!

I want a tail that tells the world "I'm not afraid of breaching if I want to!"

I have never had a car with a tail. I suppose I could purchase a tail separately, but I don't think I can afford the kind of tail that would really show off my desired statements.

I want it to say, "I'm a kinkajou and I can hold onto trees if I want!"

OH! OR one that would say, "I'm a dinosaur! Rawr!"

yeah...I like that...

Speaking of dinosaurs, Haribo (kids and grown-ups love it so!) gummi candy company has put out DINOSAURS!

It is probably the best gummi candy ever. It's gummisaurus rex.

Bonus fact: You can buy 5-pound bags of Haribo gummi candy on Amazon. My mind is officially blown. I think I can die happy now. Thank you, world. And thank you Haribo.

I'm off to put a dinosaur tail on my car.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

spider on my wings

Let me start off by telling you how excited I am about something. I found out that those mirrors on the side of your car are called wings!

Yeah! The rear view mirror is the one IN the car, but the two that can have objects closer than they appear are called wings! (Also door mirror or side mirror.)

OUR CARS HAVE WINGS! (No Red Bull copyright issues...I hope...)

Take that, planes! You think you're so fancy with your wings and flights and stuff. My car has wings, too! And flight!

Well, on my driver's side wing, there was a spider. It was making a web. And I guess admiring its work at the same time. You know, because it was on a mirror. It was a very vain spider.

Wing-mirror-spider was doing its thing, but I had to go somewhere. So I started driving. On the highway. For 45 minutes! I got to my destination and the spider was still there!

It hung on the whole time!

How do these things do that?! I can't imagine holding onto a car for that long! Or at those speeds! I mean, my car can go pretty fast. I once got it up to 76 mph. THAT is really fast. Faster than a plane, I bet.

I figured that since the spider hung on the whole drive, it deserved to keep its home on my wing. I can't imagine it's a great home to catch flies and whatnot, but if the spider wants to stay, it gets to stay.

So Lysandra (the spider) had a new home. Well...did...until my drive home. Then Lysandra was gone.

That's your lesson for today. Don't name your pet wing-spider. They always leave after that.

I'm off to fly my car.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

magic eye magic car

Do you remember the magic eye posters? Find the 3-D image in the weird picture? They still make them. They actually have a Harry Potter Magic Eye Book! Which makes total sense because Harry Potter is magic!

I was driving home and thinking that maybe it would be cool to have a big bumper sticker on my car that was a magic eye image. It would say "PLEASE STOP" or something. I say that because, if somebody was getting sleepy behind the wheel and their eyes weren't focused, they would see the "STOP" message and stop their car instead of hitting me!

Good idea, right?!

Then I thought, how cool would it be to have my whole car be a 3-D image of something! Like a whale or boat or another kind of car!

Then people would see my car in 3-D! And it would look like a whale was driving down the street with them!

Wouldn't that just knock your socks off and take those knocked off socks to a batting cage and hit 50 home runs while doing push-ups and drinking fire and glass shards?!

Yep. It would do that.

So next time you're driving down the street and you can't focus your eyes, watch out for a 3-D whale.

And also watch out for my car. It'll say "PLEASE STOP." In 3-D. So if you hit me, you have no excuse. The warning was right there IN YOUR FACE.

I'm off to the third dimension.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

hands or feets or windshields

I drive a car with air vents. I think most cars do. The ones that do not...well...I hope they have windows or something. That would really stink if they do not.

But MY car has both! Fancy automobile, I have!

It was a little humid this weekend, but not too hot. I put on some air conditioning to keep me and my windshield cool and dry, but it was a little cold on my feet, so I made it just blow through the hand vents. Then my windshield needed a little drying out, so I put it up there.

Why can't I do a windshield/hand combo? How is that not an option? I mean...why is there a feet/windshield option?

And how come you can't get triple-air with a hand/foot/windshield combo! How awesome would that be?!

Imagine the amount of air that would come in through those vents! It would be crazy! I would be able to fly a kite in my car!

Who doesn't love a little car kiting?!

Maybe you have a fancier car that gives you more options. My car is still pretty fancy, though. With all those windows AND air vents.

I also have four floor mats. FOUR! Bet you can't say that about your car!

Sometimes I put all four of them under my feet while I'm driving. Just to make sure my floor is totally matted.

You know I'm driving 4-matted when you see me fly by you with your triple-blow air vents and I laugh at your single-mattedness.

Take that fancy car.

I'm off to check your vents.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

everybody ride the turtle

I love turtles. They're really cool. And super cute!

Plus, some of them become ninjas. Which is totally radalicious.

Also, 60 million years ago, they were cars!

Well, not cars, but as big as a small car. I have a small car (its name is Blue Kryptonite 360, if you didn't know). I love my small car.

But I would NOT complain if I drove to work every morning on a GIANT TURTLE!

These giant turtles also had giant jaws that could eat crocodiles!

Which is perfect because, like you, I'm always avoiding crocs on my drive to work in the morning.

So, in a perfect world, I would put on my driving scarf and my driving goggles, hop on my turtle, and zoom off to work. Without worrying about getting eaten by crocodiles.

Well...in a perfect world I would be the Mayor of Candy City. And the crocodiles would be chocolate. The turtle would not be, though. Because I don't want to drive candy. I want to eat it.

I like this world. Let's make it happen.

I'm off to do my candy mayoral-duties.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj