give me a beak

Wouldn’t you rather have a beak instead of teeth to eat your food? Isn’t it such a chore to keep chewing everything and crunching stuff all the time? 

Yes! It is! That’s why we should have beaks and just poke at stuff! SO much easier! 

At least, that’s according to one biologist who says it could actually be possible that evolution will fuse our teeth together and create a beak. 

He makes a good point. Our teeth are lazy. We only change our teeth once. ONCE! Other creatures grow new teeth all the time! So, it makes sense that they keep using them!

Humans just get two sets! How lame is that?! If we had beaks, we wouldn’t have to worry about all these teeth issues we have. 

I think I would look pretty good with a beak. A lot of birds are really cute. 

In fact, I think I would just like to evolve into a bird. Because I could fly. 

Maybe I’ll stay human, but have bird wings and a beak. Then I could fly and eat seeds, but also walk and buy shoes and belts. 

I like my shoes and belts a lot. That is why I want to keep them. 

The only thing that COULD be a problem would be gum. I’ve never seen a bird chew gum. I think you would need teeth for that, right? 

I’m no gum expert, but it seems likely that gum sales would go down if we had beaks. 

Gummy worm sales would go way up, though. Since it would be the ideal treat for a bird! 

You know what they say! The early bird/human hybrid catches the sale on gummy worms at CVS! 

At least that’s what I say every day! 

I’m off to beak fast.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

cows love candy and corn

I've been talking about candy corn a lot lately. This isn't actually about that, but it's about BOTH of those things. Together. But not together in the way you are thinking!

Hooked yet? Good! Because this is fun!

There was a pretty bad drought this year. That was bad for corn. Without corn, it's tough to get corn FEED. Without corn feed, it's tough to feed cows. Without cows, it's tough to get milk and hamburgers and butter and yogurt (or yoghurt) and that "moo" sound they make.

Farmers needed to fill the corn gap. So they decided to use candy! See, there's an excess of cookies and gummy worms and marshmallows and fruit loops and more that can be added to their corn feed to get the cows nice and plump!

Sounds good, right?! I mean, that's probably the perfect meal!

I kinda wish I could be a cow for a little while. Just to try it.

I bet those cows taste SO good! I'm not much of a steak-eater, but if my steak tasted like gummy worms! How could I NOT order it?! That and some marshmallow milk! O! M! G!

Guess what?! I can almost kinda be like a cow! A very wise woman recently told me she loves to eat popcorn with candy in it! I love popcorn and candy! Why not combine them?! How did I not think of this?!

Instead of corn feed, just use some popped corn and throw candy and gummy worms and fruit loops and cookies and ANYTHING in there! That HAS to be the perfect food!

We live in an amazing world full of candy steak and candy popcorn. If you ever need to practice cow farming, let me know. I'm more than happy to help out.

I'm off to be a cow and pop my corn.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj