Out of the 508 things that can be said about me, one is that I love adorable amphibians. If you never saw that axolotl I wrote about months ago, find one. Then look at how cute it is. Then love it forever.
(The other 507 things involve unicorns, candy, comic books, sparkles, rainbows, and many different versions of dance.)
Well! I just found out there is something almost as cute as that! Baby dragons!
Ok, so "baby dragon" isn't really this creatures OFFICIAL name. They are actually olms. Or, in their native Slovenia, moceril. That means "the one that burrows into wetness."
That is, quite possibly, the most disgusting term ever.
I will call it a baby dragon. Because that's what they look like! Baby dragons with no eyes!
Oh, yeah, they live completely underwater in caves. Their eyes never really develop. They don't need them.
If I lived in a magical world filled with awesome things, I would have a castle. Protecting my castle would be an axolotl that rode on an olm. Not that my castle would ever need protection because my world is sweet and people don't fight. We just have fun. And cute protectors.
I would also be a baby dragon farmer with panda helpers. Because there would be NOTHING MORE ADORABLE THAN THAT.
I also think that dragons should be involved in intramural sports. Because they should get the exercise and team building skills needed for adult life.
And an axolotl riding a dragon that is playing soccer (or football) sounds like the coolest sport ever! It would be like polo, but with more amphibian action. And dragons. I'll call it Dragolo.
I'm off to train my dragon.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label football. Show all posts
Friday, May 30, 2014
Friday, January 17, 2014
broadway and the bowl
I don’t know if football fans and Broadway fans are always the same. I’m sure there are some people who love both. But I imagine there aren’t too many.
I’m not a huge fan of football or musicals, so I really couldn’t tell you if people at "Wicked" are wearing Titans jerseys. Or if people at a Patriots game are singing about the hills being alive. Possibly with music.
Of course, if I went to see "Wicked," I would TOTALLY wear a Titans jersey. Go Titans! (Inside joke. Ask me about it sometime.)
I say this because the guy who made the sets for the Broadway musical “Kinky Boots” is the same guy who designed the luxury suites for MetLife Stadium in New Jersey!
Yes! THE David Rockwell! And since nobody REALLY wants to be outside in the cold for the Super Bowl, you can get access to your very own suite for only $400,000!
They have bars, refrigerators, big TVs (so you can see the game better), and fireplaces!
It’ll almost seem like you’re really at the game! If the game was being played in the backyard of your mansion.
Which kinda sounds like it makes more sense to me.
If you actually do want to be outside, don’t worry, they have heated leather seats ready for you. That way you can feel like a real fan. But everyone inside watching on the TV by the fire being served their hot chocolatinis and talking about the "Pippin" revival will think you’re crazy.
Oh, I almost forgot. The best line in the article. When asked about these suites, the guy in charge said, “It’s not often that we have the opportunity to offer suites to the general public.”
I have a feeling that my definition of “general public” might be slightly different. My “general public” can’t spend $400,000 to watch a football game on TV at a football game.
Again, I’m not a dictionary. But I know someone who is. I’ll ask her.
I’m off to sing about tackling. (What rhymes with tackle? Spackle?)
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
I’m not a huge fan of football or musicals, so I really couldn’t tell you if people at "Wicked" are wearing Titans jerseys. Or if people at a Patriots game are singing about the hills being alive. Possibly with music.
Of course, if I went to see "Wicked," I would TOTALLY wear a Titans jersey. Go Titans! (Inside joke. Ask me about it sometime.)
I say this because the guy who made the sets for the Broadway musical “Kinky Boots” is the same guy who designed the luxury suites for MetLife Stadium in New Jersey!
Yes! THE David Rockwell! And since nobody REALLY wants to be outside in the cold for the Super Bowl, you can get access to your very own suite for only $400,000!
They have bars, refrigerators, big TVs (so you can see the game better), and fireplaces!
It’ll almost seem like you’re really at the game! If the game was being played in the backyard of your mansion.
Which kinda sounds like it makes more sense to me.
If you actually do want to be outside, don’t worry, they have heated leather seats ready for you. That way you can feel like a real fan. But everyone inside watching on the TV by the fire being served their hot chocolatinis and talking about the "Pippin" revival will think you’re crazy.
Oh, I almost forgot. The best line in the article. When asked about these suites, the guy in charge said, “It’s not often that we have the opportunity to offer suites to the general public.”
I have a feeling that my definition of “general public” might be slightly different. My “general public” can’t spend $400,000 to watch a football game on TV at a football game.
Again, I’m not a dictionary. But I know someone who is. I’ll ask her.
I’m off to sing about tackling. (What rhymes with tackle? Spackle?)
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
cheetah on the titans
If you read comic books, you’re probably shouting, “The Titans would never allow Cheetah onto their team! That’s just crazy talk!”
And you would be correct. Luckily, nobody reads comic books anymore. Except me.
If you’re normal, you might be thinking more about football and jungle kitties. And you would be correct!
There is an American football team called the Tennessee Titans. I know absolutely NOTHING about football. I only know that there is a team called the Titans. I love them because they are named after a comic book super hero team. That is all it took.
They have a really fast guy on the team. (Not The Flash. Unfortunately.) His name is Chris Johnson. He wants to race a cheetah.
Not Wonder Woman’s enemy. An actual cheetah from the jungle.
He’s going to do this on TV. Because he thinks he can win.
I LOVE that he’s going to do this, but I’m pretty sure he’ll lose. A cheetah’s top speed is 75 mph. That’s fast.
In THEORY. Again, THEORETICALLY, a human could MAYBE get to 40 mph. But the fastest recorded human running was about 28 mph.
That’s a big difference. Also, I don’t know if our Titan knows this, but cheetahs are carnivores, so…um…if he doesn’t run fast enough, he won’t be running much. Ever.
I will watch this because I always cheer The Titans on. Because it makes me feel like I know sports even though I’m really cheering for a comic book team.
If you ever hear me say, “Go Titans!” you’ll know why.
On a side note, I’ve decided that I’m the fastest land animal. I was just bitten by a radioactive cheetah. Because I couldn’t run faster than it. Luckily, it was radioactive and gave me speed powers. Also, it didn't eat me, just a bite. (There’s nothing dangerous about that situation.)
The Titans should hire me. The football team AND the super hero team. My name will be Super-Fast Cheetah Guy. That’s a good solid name.
I’m off to race a cheetah.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
And you would be correct. Luckily, nobody reads comic books anymore. Except me.
If you’re normal, you might be thinking more about football and jungle kitties. And you would be correct!
There is an American football team called the Tennessee Titans. I know absolutely NOTHING about football. I only know that there is a team called the Titans. I love them because they are named after a comic book super hero team. That is all it took.
They have a really fast guy on the team. (Not The Flash. Unfortunately.) His name is Chris Johnson. He wants to race a cheetah.
Not Wonder Woman’s enemy. An actual cheetah from the jungle.
He’s going to do this on TV. Because he thinks he can win.
I LOVE that he’s going to do this, but I’m pretty sure he’ll lose. A cheetah’s top speed is 75 mph. That’s fast.
In THEORY. Again, THEORETICALLY, a human could MAYBE get to 40 mph. But the fastest recorded human running was about 28 mph.
That’s a big difference. Also, I don’t know if our Titan knows this, but cheetahs are carnivores, so…um…if he doesn’t run fast enough, he won’t be running much. Ever.
I will watch this because I always cheer The Titans on. Because it makes me feel like I know sports even though I’m really cheering for a comic book team.
If you ever hear me say, “Go Titans!” you’ll know why.
On a side note, I’ve decided that I’m the fastest land animal. I was just bitten by a radioactive cheetah. Because I couldn’t run faster than it. Luckily, it was radioactive and gave me speed powers. Also, it didn't eat me, just a bite. (There’s nothing dangerous about that situation.)
The Titans should hire me. The football team AND the super hero team. My name will be Super-Fast Cheetah Guy. That’s a good solid name.
I’m off to race a cheetah.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Monday, February 11, 2013
hello, my name is asteroid
But my friends call me 2102 DA14. Or D-troid for short. Because I'm cool like that.
Okay, I'm not really an asteroid. I'm me. But it would be totally cool if I could be an asteroid! And do asteroid-y things! Like...orbit stuff...in space.
So on Friday, D-troid will fly by Earth. Really, really close. Closer than the satellites that help us find directions and watch cartoons and stuff!
The closest moment will be at 2:26pm on February 15. 17,200 miles away. (That's 27,680 kilometers). A satellite is about 22,000 miles above the Earth.
This asteroid is 150-feet wide. About half the size of a football field. I hope that comparison helps. I have no idea what a football field looks like. I imagine a football field to have mountains and deserts and desserts and stairs. I'm not a big fan of stairs, so I don't really pay attention.
Luckily, this asteroid won't hit any football fields. But if that was a fear, I know how to get rid of it.
My triangle spaceship.
It doesn't take turns very well, but it spins great. And if I jet forward a little, I can spin it again. Then I go "pew pew pew" and blow up asteroids.
Sometimes flying saucers get in my way. I take care of them too. I'm a ruthless triangle.
Also, Ruthless Triangle would be a great name for a band. And a great name for a super secret space program to destroy asteroids. Which it may or may not be. I'm not at liberty to say. Because I keep good secrets.
But just a heads up, if you see a flying isosceles, get out of the way.
I'm off to catch an asteroid.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
Friday, November 9, 2012
surgery and football
Scientists in Great Britain have created the future for you! TODAY!
They are working on robots that can speak 20 languages, play football, AND perform surgery! (Since it is in Great Britain, I imagine that they mean international football/american soccer. But as far as I know, they're basically the same thing with different scoring rules.)
Soon, you'll be able to watch them play football/soccer while replacing a heart and ALSO take customer service calls from one of twenty different languaged locations!
Luckily, they haven't created robots that know how to ninja or wizard you. But we should be careful JUST IN CASE.
See, soccer/football is a gateway sport. It often leads to ninja.
Also, little known fact, surgerying is a gateway activity to wizarding/witchcrafting!
And an even lesser known fact, knowing how to speak 20 languages is a gateway skill to learning 21 languages!
If you have a robot that knows ninja and wizard and 21 languages, you have a recipe for disaster!
Or tim tams. I can never remember which.
I hope it's the tim tams. Otherwise, we're doomed.
I could go for a tim tam right now.
If I could only make it past the ninja/witch/robot yelling at me in another language.
I'm off to find a gateway robot.
Enjoy Everything.
-dj
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