pigeon growth hormones

The Belgian Pigeon Racing Federation, or BPRF, is dealing with quite a scandal this year. I’m sure you’ve heard about it. Because, you know, pigeon racing is the world’s 34th most popular sport.

Right behind Parisian crock pot jumping.

Pigeons were tested this year and you’ll never believe what they found! Pain killers and anti-fever drugs!

I think I can understand pain killers. I don’t condone it, but I guess they want their birds to fly through the pain.

But why anti-fever drugs? Do birds get fevers a lot? Does it keep their temperature down so they don’t overheat? DO birds overheat?

My computer overheats a lot. I use a fan. Should I pour anti-fever drugs on it? Maybe I’ll try that later.

Though, I don’t race my computer. I know that the 31st most popular sport in the world IS Finnish computer racing, but my computer just doesn’t have the training. And it’s really old, so it might break a processor. Or a hip.

Here’s your lesson. Don’t race pigeons. They probably don’t want to do it. Also, it’s not even cool enough to be on any version of ESPN, so it’s clearly not an interesting sport.

Try chess or something. Even the Spelling Bee gets coverage! Learn to spell instead! Just don’t give your kids anti-fever drugs before the competition.

Unless they actually have a fever. Then I suppose you can.

Seriously, if your kids are sick, take care of them. It’s called good parenting.

I know I don’t have kids or watch sports, but I’m pretty sure most of my information here is accurate.

I’m off to watch Siberian jelly spreading (the 23rd most popular sport in the world!)

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

for crying out loud

For crying out loud, you get a lot of attention! And you also start a sentence with a prepositional phrase, which grammar people LOVE.

Grammatical sarcasm aside, I heard somebody say "for crying out loud" the other day and I started repeating it to myself trying to figure out what it could possibly mean. We say it so fast when we actually use it.

"Did you get your candy yet?"

"Halloween is still 7 months away, fercryinoutloud!"

(By the way, buying Halloween candy should be done every day of the year. It's candy. It's good. Eat it every day.)

Or maybe it's for getting prizes!

"For crying out loud, you will get our award for Out Loudness!"

"Since everybody else in class cried internally, you get the Cry Award for crying out loud!"

Everybody cheers! Some internally.

Prepositional exclamatory phrases aside, I really didn't have much else to talk about.

Well, I DID try something new. I love cutting up an apple and eating it with peanut butter. LOVE IT. I ALSO love peanut butter and toast.

Since I enjoy honey and jam and jelly on toast, I decided to try honey and jam and jelly on apple slices! Separately.

They were ok. They didn't taste bad, kinda just...there. Not NEARLY as exciting as peanut butter and apple!

So yeah...nothing special. My life can't always be exciting, for crying out loud!

I'm off to cry internally. Which sounds really, really sad.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj