banana still in the peel

Somebody has invented a banana corer. I guess they wanted to make bananas more interesting. By filling them with sweetness!

I’ll try to explain. You put the unpeeled banana in the holder. Then, you put this metal thing that looks like a giant needle through the banana. You then have a small hole at the top. Then you squeeze something in there like caramel or chocolate or whipped cream.

You eat it and find a tasty surprise!

This was created in Argentina. I’m guessing they want to sell more bananas and this will make bananas more fun.

I don’t think they need to sell me on this. I eat bananas like crazy. They are already sweet and so easy to eat! Just peel and eat! Done!

I might fill my banana with peanut butter. Because I eat that almost every day. I will put some peanut butter on bread and put a banana on it. It looks kinda like a hot dog. Well…if the bun was a piece of wheat bread and the ketchup was peanut butter and the hot dog was a banana.

Ok, so it’s almost nothing like a hot dog. But it’s good! I don’t even cut the banana. THAT is how lazy I am. And you know what? I don’t care! It’s So Good. It’s like a Banana in a Blanket.

I wonder if you can inject any other fruits with caramel? I mean, you could core an apple, but the caramel center would be too hard to get to.

On the other hand, I guess they already solved that by putting the caramel or chocolate on the outside.

Strawberries and blueberries are too small to really inject with anything.

OH! What about carrots! That’s a vegetable that you could inject something into! Maybe caramel? Like caramel carrots? I wonder if that’s any good. I’ll have to try that. Carrots deserve to get banana respect.

I’m off to inject fruits and vegetables.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

happy money

CNN recently asked people “How much money do you need to be happy?”

Guess what! Most people said that if they had about $100,000 a year, they would be happy!

Wanna know how many people said that money can’t buy happiness? 6%! That’s it! And they are kinda right. Money can’t actually buy an emotion. BUT! It does buy all the stuff that gives me the happy emotion!

Like jelly beans.

$100,000 is SO far out of my realm of money options that I can’t even imagine what I’d do with that much money.

Ok. That’s a lie. I know exactly what I would do. I would buy a pool. Then I would fill it with jelly beans. Then I would swim in it every day. And have a pool party every week with mutant, party jellyfish. I would also invite peanut butter over. Because peanut butter and I are besties.

I should figure out a way to make millions of monies. OH! You know what I think would make me rich? Fruit-shaped containers.

Many fruits are soft when they are ripe. And that makes them so hard to transport! I think they make a banana one, but why stop there?! I just had a pear. It was all beaten up because it was in my bag! There is no pear container!

Or an avocado case. Because you don’t want that all messed up. Or containers for watermelon slices! I use my sandwich container, but it’s not a perfect fit. Sometimes I have to squish some of my melon to make it fit. NOBODY wants squished melons!

I will call it the “FruitCase” and I will sell it on infomercials late at night when people are tired and desire unbruised fruit.

I’m off to get fruity rich.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

aquari-yum

An aquarium in Dallas decided to feed jellyfish some peanut butter for a while to see what happened.

Guess what DID happen! That’s right! Peanut Butter Jellyfish!

They put peanut butter into the tank with the jellyfish and after the jellyfish absorbed all the peanut buttery goodness, they grew up to be big and strong peanut butter jellyfish!

Why do this? Because jellyfish were always kinda jealous (jellyous?) of crabs. Crabs can be made into cake. Everybody loves cake.

So, jellyfish wanted to be made into a beloved food as well.

Who wouldn’t?

I mean, I’m sure you remember the “Mole v. Horse” decision of ’39. The big court case on where “guaca” would end up.

Horses settled on “radish,” but they have never been happy with it.

I know it seems like having the word “jelly” in their name already makes them pretty sweet. But do you ever just eat jelly plain out of the jar?

You do? Yeah…me too. And we are totally normal.

But they wanted something with a little more kick. And THAT is why scientists like to feed peanut butter to jellyfish!

I hear that they are going to start feeding mackerels some noodles and cheese. Mackereloni and Cheese might be the next display we see at the aquarium.

I’m off to put some butter in the halibut tank.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

the royal society of chemistry

Sounds like an official place, right?! Like, the King and Queen of the Periodic Table! (Written Ki and Qu.) Making decrees and such about chemicals!

“I decree that yttrium is totally fun to say and we will celebrate it today!”

Done! It’s decreed! You can’t fight it because chemistry and decrees always win!

Okay, so you know about the Royal Society of Chemistry. Do you know about the British Cheese Board? It’s not a wooden board for cutting cheese. It’s an actual group of people who promote cheese. Yes. This is real.

I know this doesn’t make sense yet, but it will...I think.

The British Cheese Board (BCB) cannot figure out cheese on toast. They are having a competition where people will send in their recipes on how to make cheese on toast.

I am NOT making this up.

I believe I have a solution to their problem. Put cheese on toast. Done.

I guess it's more complicated in Britain. They are going to get recipes from the citizens and then send the top eight (which I imagine will all consist of cheese going on toast) to the Royal Society of Chemistry. For scientific testing.

Again, ALL OF THIS IS TRUE. Are we done with using chemistry for something useful? Is Cheeseontoastium the newest element on the Periodic Table?

I hope the British Peanut Butter Board knows about this. They should team up with the Royal Society of Physicists to discover the secrets of the universe. But only if you send them your peanut butter on toast recipes. They’re having trouble figuring that out.

Luckily they know how to put jam on their toast. That’s actually how we keep the Earth from crashing into the sun. Thanks to the British Jam Board and the Royal Society of Solarists.

Imagine the secrets we’d discover if they started the British Hummus Board! (I know, I’m blowing your mind! And using the same joke too many times!)

I’m off to cheese my toast.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

in the mood for food that's good

Make sure you say "good" like "food" and "mood." It's funner that way.

I sometimes think that I should start my own food blog. Not that anyone reads my non-food blog. And not that anyone likes any of the food choices I make. But, I do often write about my adventures in fooding because every new food experience is an adventure!

Sometimes it ends with a new favorite food. Other times...well...my tummy doesn't like me so much and questions my decisions.

I DID try some new things recently that I encourage you all to do. Today. And again tomorrow.

Apples and hummus! Not just ANY hummus. SUPER HUMMUS! I found this stuff the other day because I was looking to get into hummus. I know I've had it before and I've always liked it, but I never really kept up with it. We casually hung out, but I wanted to make us a little more BFFy. Luckily, I found Super Hummus.

I like to think that if Superman or The Hulk or Wolverine had a hankerin' for hummus, they would eat Super Hummus. Therefore, since I'm part super, I had to buy Super Hummus.

Now that I AM a regular hummuser, I decided to go off the vegetable path and try it with an apple. Bear with me, it gets a little complicated here. It tasted good...after the first few slices. See, the apple had to dry a little before it was good. It started too juicy and that didn't work well with the hummus.

As you may or may not know, I've been experimenting with peanut butter and honey. I love the combination of the two. I also love cinnamon. The word and the spice. One of my favorite things to say is "cinnamon in it."

Go ahead. Say it really fast. Fun, isn't it! I can't stop saying it! Cinnamoninit!

Now I CAN say it all the time! My mom suggested some honey AND cinnamon AND peanut butter on toast. Four of my favorite things combined! My mom is a genius. It is amazing!

And now, if I ever have company that wants a snack, I will make this for them. Wanna know why? I'll show you...

You/Guest: "This is great! How did you get toast to taste so fun?"

Me: "It has cinnamon in it!"

You/Guest: "CINNAMONINIT!"

As a bonus, I just found out that "Toast To Taste" is also really fun to say.

I'm off to toast to taste cinnamon in it.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

for crying out loud

For crying out loud, you get a lot of attention! And you also start a sentence with a prepositional phrase, which grammar people LOVE.

Grammatical sarcasm aside, I heard somebody say "for crying out loud" the other day and I started repeating it to myself trying to figure out what it could possibly mean. We say it so fast when we actually use it.

"Did you get your candy yet?"

"Halloween is still 7 months away, fercryinoutloud!"

(By the way, buying Halloween candy should be done every day of the year. It's candy. It's good. Eat it every day.)

Or maybe it's for getting prizes!

"For crying out loud, you will get our award for Out Loudness!"

"Since everybody else in class cried internally, you get the Cry Award for crying out loud!"

Everybody cheers! Some internally.

Prepositional exclamatory phrases aside, I really didn't have much else to talk about.

Well, I DID try something new. I love cutting up an apple and eating it with peanut butter. LOVE IT. I ALSO love peanut butter and toast.

Since I enjoy honey and jam and jelly on toast, I decided to try honey and jam and jelly on apple slices! Separately.

They were ok. They didn't taste bad, kinda just...there. Not NEARLY as exciting as peanut butter and apple!

So yeah...nothing special. My life can't always be exciting, for crying out loud!

I'm off to cry internally. Which sounds really, really sad.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

there's a hurricane in my tummy

I'm having a problem.

I have no idea how much food to eat. I can't quite figure it out. I know people keep telling me, "You don't have to worry about what you eat."

Well, I think I do. Because today my tummy has declared war on my body. Not a cyber war, either. This is full on battle where my tummy is trying to advance up throatopolis but my swallowing soldiers are fighting back.

I think it's a losing battle.

I'm not sure if I ate too much yesterday or ate something bad. But I never know when I'm full. My stomach never says, "Ok, that's enough food." It usually says, "Just keep on eating, I love it!"

Until today. When it doesn't love it. At all.

Luckily, there is a storm going on and if I don't eat, I won't run out of food supplies! That's a big plus! I stocked up on peanut butter and candy corn for the hurricane.

Hmmm...may have figured out why I'm regurgitatey.

Anywhizzle, found Blackberry Cobble Candy Corn! YEP! MORE flavors of candy corn!

Now, this is a different company that does NOT make their candied corn with REAL honey. And you can tell! It's not as good. It might not have anything to do with the honey, but I'm pretty sure it has everything to do with the honey.

Also, the unnatural combination of blackberry cobbler and candy corn may have devastating effects on your stomach. But again, may or may not be the reason.

I'm off to curl up and groan.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

step it up a little bit

I will exercise when I can. It's not bad. It's not great, but I feel like I should do it because it's supposed to be healthy for you.

One thing I have NEVER done is "step" stuff. I don't get it. Without any instruction, I tried stepping up onto the platform. I did it. Then I stepped down again. Woo.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong because it was not even close to resembling a workout! Maybe I should be carrying an ox when I do it. That would probably make it harder, right?

OH! You know what is sweet (and totally unrelated but I just thought of it and didn't want to forget to tell you)! Strawberries are coming early!

I know it's because of climate change and stuff, but it's still pretty awesome. I like good strawberries. Not bad ones. Good ones are good. Bad ones are not good. They are bad. Strawberries are one of the cutest fruits, don't you think?

The doctor said I was healthy (going back to the healthy talk). I told him that I exercised. Not step aerobics, though.

My doctor likes bears. He had a bear calendar in his room. I found out that Bear Awareness Week was in the beginning of May. I'm bear aware. Are you?

I bet bears like strawberries.

I tried strawberries and peanut butter once. Because I like peanut butter on pretty much everything. It wasn't gross. But it wasn't anything special. Try it if you like, but it's kind of a waste. Save the pb for apples or bread. Peanut butter pb, not lead.

I'm off to have a strawberry picnic with a bear.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

sail away, sail away, sail away

Some people believe the world is going to end soon. BUT! They have figured out how to be saved!

Pretty sweet, right? And they're just telling us how we can be saved too! Pic de Bugarach is an "upside down" mountain. It's pretty cool, actually. It's in France. So it's French.

This mountain is kinda sweet because, geologically speaking, it is upside down! Newer rocks are on the bottom. "Scientists" say that when the mountain erupted, the peak shot up into the air and flipped over and landed back inside itself.

Like a mountain pancake.

The rest of us know that aliens picked up the mountain and flipped it over so they would have a good place to land their large space boats.

You know what I love about space boats? Their music. They listen to a lot of Enya. They have the Orinoco Flow. That's a space sailor term meaning "we're a totally awesome boat that won't hit anything like icebergs."

I also love origami on Tuesdays.

“Origami On Tuesdays” is a good name for a band.

So is “Mountain Pancake.”

I would like a mountain of pancakes. Covered with peanut butter. And chocolate. And syrup. And strawberry Quick. The powder kind, not the goo. It's more fun to eat it that way.

I hope they serve that on my space boat cruise.

I'm off to book a space ticket.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

stir the peanut butter young padawan

Okay. Some of you may know that I'm all about eating all-natural and organic food and stuff like that. I tell myself that it's healthy for me or something.

ONE thing I could NEVER get over was peanut butter. I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER! SOOOOOOO MUCH! It's soooooooo good.

BUT! The natural stuff needs a good stirring. And I HATE that! I could NOT deal with it. Have you ever tried to stir peanut butter? It's like trying to push a mountain across a tar pit with the Hulk AND Superman pushing back at you while badgers and skunks bite your feet.

So I did some research and some guy found the solution. He even has a patent for his idea! SO DON'T GIVE ME CREDIT!

Flip the jar upside down. Then put it in the fridge. And every morning, you flip it over. It works about 86% of the time! It's so simple and SO GENIUS! Now I can buy organic peanut butter!

And you can too!

If you want to. I won't force it. I will force you to eat peanut butter. I will also use the Force to force you to eat it. I know that's kinda Dark Sidey of me. I won't use the Force if you have an allergy, though. That's a little more Jedi-like. If you do have said allergy, may I suggest almond butter. Or cashew butter. Or soy nut butter. Or Nutella.

If you are allergic to ALL of those things...I would suggest not eating any of them.

I would otherwise suggest riding a pony. Because that's fun. And Darth Vader likes them.

I'm off to ride the pony.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

it's a cookie in a jar

Oh! Em! Gee! Have you ever had Biscoff spread? YOU HAVEN'T! You NEED to try this!

So, this Austrian company makes these cookies called "speculoos." One day, somebody said, "Wouldn't it be great if you could just make this fantastically tastalicious cookie into a creamy spread?!"

Half the people who heard that statement fell over. The other half screamed in excitement. 17 people walking by the building discovered the meaning of life. Two people actually learned how to fly by using pure thought energy. And 26 babies were born. They're nothing special, JUST THE MIRACLE OF LIFE!

After learning the secrets of Shangri-La and the garden of the Hesperides, they were able to magically turn speculoos into a spread!

Or a butter. I don't know how to describe it. It's like peanut butter. But peanut butter isn't really like cow butter. So...you know...it's creamy...and yummy...and butteryish?

NOW! Through the magic of science and...well...magic...YOU TOO can spread a cookie onto anything you want and not get that crumbly side-effect!

It tastes kinda like a cinnamon graham cracker. That you spread. ON EVERYTHING!

You should buy some speculoo spread. Miracles will happen. Sure it depends on your definition of "miracle," but mine includes that feeling of sparkles in your tummy. And that happens every time I eat Biscoff spread.

I'm off to speculoo.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

first sharks now this?!

Oh no. This is bad. I know zombies are totally hip right now, but this is just scary.

Zombie Bees.

Affectionately called "zombees" by apiarists.

Unaffectionately called "ZOMBIE BEES ARE TRYING TO KILL ME" by everybody else.

It's like "The Walking Dead" if it became "The Fly-And-Sting-You-And-Lure-You-Into-A-False-Sense-Of-Security-With-Their-Sweet-Nectar Dead."

I love honey. I eat it every day. I also use it as a face wash. Should I worry about becoming a zombie?

Will I become a BEE?! WILL I BECOME A MUTANT HUMAN/BEE/ZOMBIE HYBRID LIKE THE HYBRID SHARKS?!?!

These are all questions that one must ask oneself when that self enjoys honey made by not yourself!

These are also questions that one must ask oneself when oneself doesn't know what that self should write about when blogging about that self's love of honey.

OH! You know what else is good? Honey peanut butter.

Oh no...my peanut butter could make me a zombie too!

Eh...it's worth it. Honey peanut butter is really good. Good enough to go zombie for.

I'm off to zombee.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj