moon national park

Two Representatives filed legislation that would make the moon a U.S. National Park!

Forget Zion! Go to the moon! They want NASA and the Dept. of the Interior to make this happen. (Remember, the Dept. of the Interior deals with exterior places. Confusing, I know, but that’s our government!)

Now, technically, the moon isn’t OWNED by these United States. But the stuff we LEFT there is ours! And I guess “stuff” can become “National Park.” 

Now, if Newt Gingrich had his way, we would own the moon AND it would be the 51st State! I seriously know almost NOTHING about Newt Gingrich. I did write about his “smartphone” issue a few months ago, but besides that, I know nothing.

STILL, he’s quickly becoming one of my most favoritest people. Because, like the smartphone debate, he says totally random things that make complete sense to me. 

Like trying to get the moon to be a state! He even wanted to create space factories!

Not factories that would create new space, but rather factories to build stuff IN SPACE! 

And whenever you add “IN SPACE” to anything, it’s automatically 84.3% cooler! 

Imagine having coffee grown IN SPACE. (Organic and fair-trade, of course.) Or maybe having pants that say Made in Space! 

That would be the coolest. Take a look at my space-pants, baby! 

So do I want space factories and moon bases and a National Park near Copernicus Crater? Yes. I do. 

And I will buy astronaut ice cream there. Because that’s my FAVORITE thing to buy on special trips IN SPACE.

I’m off to state the moon.

Enjoy Everything...in space.

-dj

the computer in your hand

I saw some video a few weeks ago that has stuck in my mind. It was Newton Leroy Gingrich. You might call him Newt. Because you’re his buddy. And when you buddy with somebody, you shorten their name.

At least, that’s what I see people do on television. I don’t know what it’s like to have a buddy.

Newty Newt put out a video about his phone. His “smartphone.” He doesn’t like the name. He says that it is no more phone than it is a computer. Basically, it’s a computer that also makes phone calls. All from the palm of your hand!

And he’s absolutely right! Yeah, these things basically started out as phones, but are you really making phone calls on it?! NO! You’re playing games and looking at Facebook and taking pictures for Instagram!

It is, in fact, a device that communicates with other devices. Hence, the first name I will propose to Newton. A “Communicator.”

Just like they used in Star Trek! I think it would be a fitting homage to a show about the future that we are finally catching up to. So, if you ever ask me to text you, I will use my communicator to do it.

If you don’t like that name, I have one more to propose. “Dragon.”

You: “Could you check on the weather?”

Me: “Sure, let me just get my dragon and find out.”

You: “And then call Newton about the movies?”

Me: “Absolutely. I’ll call him with my dragon.”

You: “Also, could you attack an evil castle holding a demon wizard casting a spell of lameness over the world?”

Me: “Yep! My dragon will take care of that! With a very awesome app!”

See?! Wouldn't you look cool if you had a dragon, too?!

Or you could keep calling it a smartphone. Yawn.

I’m off to watch youtube with my dragon.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj