moon national park

Two Representatives filed legislation that would make the moon a U.S. National Park!

Forget Zion! Go to the moon! They want NASA and the Dept. of the Interior to make this happen. (Remember, the Dept. of the Interior deals with exterior places. Confusing, I know, but that’s our government!)

Now, technically, the moon isn’t OWNED by these United States. But the stuff we LEFT there is ours! And I guess “stuff” can become “National Park.” 

Now, if Newt Gingrich had his way, we would own the moon AND it would be the 51st State! I seriously know almost NOTHING about Newt Gingrich. I did write about his “smartphone” issue a few months ago, but besides that, I know nothing.

STILL, he’s quickly becoming one of my most favoritest people. Because, like the smartphone debate, he says totally random things that make complete sense to me. 

Like trying to get the moon to be a state! He even wanted to create space factories!

Not factories that would create new space, but rather factories to build stuff IN SPACE! 

And whenever you add “IN SPACE” to anything, it’s automatically 84.3% cooler! 

Imagine having coffee grown IN SPACE. (Organic and fair-trade, of course.) Or maybe having pants that say Made in Space! 

That would be the coolest. Take a look at my space-pants, baby! 

So do I want space factories and moon bases and a National Park near Copernicus Crater? Yes. I do. 

And I will buy astronaut ice cream there. Because that’s my FAVORITE thing to buy on special trips IN SPACE.

I’m off to state the moon.

Enjoy Everything...in space.

-dj

hug my waist

Well, now I HAVE to talk about my belts!

I need new belts. The old ones are falling apart. I found a few that are totally (purple) awesome. And who wants a belt UNLESS it is totally awesome?!

Belts can be hard for me. Because I always put them on upside down.

I'm generally right-handed. But for some reason, I loop my belts like a lefty. And when the belt has images or writing on it (as all totally rad belts should), they look upside down!

I also put my watch on the wrong arm. Well, I used to. When I wore a watch. Do they even make watches these days? But, yeah, I had to use my left hand to put my watch on my right wrist.

Oh, hockey, too. I was a lefty in hockey. I know, weird. Why would I play hockey?

Luckily, my perception of the world is totally wrong! Possibly due to an astigmatism. I don't know. When I put my belts on upside down, I'm pretty sure I'm seeing them right side up, but in the other direction.

When I wore a watch, I'm think I looked at the correct wrist for the time. Though, time is pretty relative, so whether I looked at the right wrist or the wrong wrist depends on whether you were moving forwards or backwards in time.

Which, as stated earlier this week, I do both.

Hockey...THAT is a mystery I may never solve. I was the goalie most of the time. Mostly because I was lazy and didn't want to move. Partly because the coach couldn't deal with me talking about watches and belts and wanted me as far away from him as possible.

Still, I was the best and most differently perceived goalie EVER.

I'm off to hold my pants up.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

one secure pole position

Have you ever seen a telephone pole? Well...I guess they are technically called "utility" poles because they do a lot more than hold telephones! Like Batman's utility belt, which does more than hold up his pants. 

Utility poles hold cable, electricity, internet, sprinkles, fairy dust, phone, squirrels, and everything else!

Some of them have support cables attached. I guess to make sure they don't fall down.

It's okay. We all need support sometimes. It's healthy to admit that.

I saw one of these fancy utility poles with SEVEN support cables! SEVEN!!! That's a lot of support! That's, like, Snow Pole and the Seven Cables!

The best part? This pole is near my apartment! So even if a boulder comes rolling down the street, I will not lose my electricity!

Not that I can afford to pay my electric bill, but it's still nice to know that if I COULD pay it, I WOULD have electricity.

I also saw a bunch of puddles when I saw this heavily-cabled pole. I don't know where they came from. Maybe ducks are bored of using ponds and want to relocate. But without rain, they had to bring some of their own water.

I would like a baby duck for a pet. I would name him Olaf.

I'm off to check my meter.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj