maybe I use too many words

So, the popular app right now is “Yo.” Which sends messages to your contacts. But the only message it sends is “Yo.”

Seriously. That’s it. If you haven’t heard about this, well…Yo.

Now you have.

When I write, I actually try to make it about a page. The old standard piece of paper. 8.5x11. I’m sure you’ve seen one before in a museum.

Kids, ask your parents what paper is.

Now, in the ye olden days (like, last week), if I wanted to say “Yo” to a friend, I would have to open the messaging app, tap on someone’s name, tap a "y," then an "o," then tap send. I guess a period would be in there, too.

That’s six taps! With the Yo app, you open the app and then tap a person’s name and that’s it! Two taps! That is a savings of FOUR taps!

Imagine what you could do with that time! You could Yo two more people!

The Yo people say that “Yo” can mean anything you want. It depends on the context.

I have one issue with that. THERE IS NO CONTEXT. Yo within a context of Yo only means Yo! It can mean nothing else!

Am I the only one who sees this?!

Clearly I am too verbose. I mean, I’ve used, like, 225 words so far. That's way more than two letters. When I could have just put “Yo” on the top and been done with it. The context of the Yo is CLEARLY apparent!

This has to be a joke. Maybe in a week we’ll find out that it was a clever prank on the world and I didn’t get it.

Let’s hope that happens. Soon. Please.

I’m off to yo.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

everything I know about sports i learned from women

That's true. A few years ago I found out there is a football team called the Tennessee Titans. At first, I did not believe this to be true. She then showed me actual proof that they exist.

That is now my favorite football team. Mostly because "The Titans" is a superhero team. Partly because "The Titans" is a superhero team. And it's REALLY fun to say, "GO TITANS!" (that's their battle cry).

This past weekend, I found out that there is a college basketball team named after a fruit! Not just a fruit, but a fruit/color combination! The Syracuse Orange!

The mascot is, in fact, an orange! Sure, an orange has never grown in upstate New York, but that didn't stop Syracuse! They could have gone with a fighting dinosaur, which can grow in upstate New York, but they decided the orange was scarier.

And they were right. If you play "Rock, Paper, Scissor, Dinosaur, Orange," then you know that the only thing that beats orange is paper.

Luckily, there is no team called "The Papers" in NCAA basketball.

The Oranges regularly beat other teams with their Vitamin C-ness. C stands for "C? We will beat you and win when we play basketball!"

That's the original definition of Vitamin C. From dinosaur days. When dinosaurs roamed upstate New York. They wouldn't go any more souther than that for fear of a rogue orange rolling up from Florida.

Rogue Orange would be a cool band name.

I'm off to throw paper.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj