all that candy cornery

It's almost Halloween! The best holiday ever! Because it's all about candy!!!

Unfortunately, there is this stuff called "candy corn" that I've never actually liked. You would THINK it was awesome. Corn is good. Candy is good. Candy Corn SHOULD be amazing!

It is not.

Well...it didn't USED to be. NOW it is! Because it has inspired other (good) candies to have a corn flavor! And those are good! It's so weird, but it feels so good!

Like Candy Corn DOTS! Now, I know what you're thinking, "All DOTS taste the same, don't they?"

Yes. Yes, they do. And every single color is wonderful. Including candy corn color.

M&Ms also made a Candy Corn candy-coated treat. This has white chocolate inside the coating made of candy. I actually don't like white chocolate too much.

And, if you remember from earlier, I don't really like candy corn.

BUT! When you put a hard shell over white chocolate and claim that it has natural and artificial candy corn flavor? It tastes good!

It's shocking! There are wonders in this world. And most of them are made from sugar.

Thank goodness for that. It would be a shame if the closest thing to a "wonder" we had was made out of turnips. That would ruin my day.

Though...add a candy coating and we might have something. Hmmm...

I'm off to coat my turnip DOTS with a shell.

Enjoy Everything!

-dj

always make it bigger

If I've said it once, I've said it 3.141592653589793... times! If candy is good, BIGGER candy is better!

It's simple math. If Domingo has a Twix bar and Sunshine has a BIGGER Twix bar, how much more awesomer is Sunshine?

Answer: WAY MORE AWESOMER!

I bring this up because Williams-Sonoma has something amazing. I don't know who Williams-Sonoma is, but he or she must be some kind of Willy-Wonka-style wizard or witch who can make candy bigger.

There is a giant peanut butter cup on their website! It's, like, the size of a big pie! (get it? pie/pi? from earlier?) How cool is that?! It's two layers of chocolate cake with peanut butter in the middle of them. THEN it is covered with a chocolate shell!

Not hard like a turtle shell. Hard enough to hold in cake, but soft enough to eat.

And you can buy it!

The website SAYS that it serves 10. But I'm pretty sure that means 1. Or maybe, on a good day, 3.14 people.

I would love to have a giant DOT. Like, big enough for me to eat into and live inside. That would be cool.

I bet ants feel like that. Not bear ants, but regular ants.

I wish I could be an ant. Not a bear ant, a regular ant.

I'm off to make it bigger.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

a dot for every occasion

DOTS are the greatest candy ever. How do I know that? I eat them. THAT is how I know. Somebody harnessed the sweet taste of heaven and put it into a small chewy “dot” for humans to enjoy.

A mysterious person named “Tootsie Roll” keeps making them in a magical land called “Chicago.”

I know those words are strange, but I promise I didn't make them up. Nobody has ever seen this “Tootsie Roll” or been to this “Chicago” place, but I know they are real because DOTS keep coming to the store.

AND we are currently in a DOTS Enlightenment!

I got Valentine’s Day DOTS! Did you know they had those?! THEY DO!

There's, like, a DOT for every holiday!

I mean, Original DOTS are great. Tropical DOTS are good on the beach. But what about when you want to celebrate Halloween?

Ghost DOTS and Bat DOTS!

They also have Christmas DOTS and Easter DOTS AND these Valentine DOTS that are red and pink and DELICIOUS!

So if you want to give something special to that person you love this Valentine’s Day, forget the diamonds and the gold and cash gifts. Show them you REALLY care with DOTS!

Any other gift says, “You're kinda okay, but I don’t love you enough to get you DOTS.”

It’s true. You might as well write that in the card if you don’t get them DOTS. I think there is a “I didn't get you DOTS for Valentine’s Day” section in the card store. It’s next to the “Sympathy” section.

I’m off to get some DOTS and sympathy.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj