look to krypton

Um...if you have a green rock that fell from space what's the first thing that comes to mind? Krypton, right? Am I the only one thinking this?!

A green rock landed in Morocco last year. They call it NWA 7325. I'm not kidding. I guess the scientists were straight outta Compton. (Though Kryptonians Wit Attitudes might be straight outta Kandor.)

I don't know why I didn't hear about this before, but I just found an article telling me that it came from Mercury.  Mercury?! Really?! You're going to tell me that a GREEN ROCK, that came FROM ANOTHER PLANET, is from Mercury?!

And get this, for a few minutes, they thought it could be from Mars! Then they studied it and found that it didn't have all the aspects of a meteorite from Mars.

But "Meteorites From Mars" would be a great name for a band.

So they decided that it's probably from Mercury. Because, yeah, that totally makes sense. Since it has low magnetic intensity and is low on iron.

Firstly, NWA should get more iron. Because you can't give blood if your iron is low. Spinach helps.

Secondly, green rocks from space are ALWAYS from Krypton! Because it blew up! If these "scientists" wanted to find out where it was from, they should have just called Superman. If he started getting weaker, we would have our answer.

Also, Krypton has a low magnetic intensity AND Superman is always having problems giving blood. I'm pretty sure it's because of low iron. So I just kinda proved that it's Kryptonite.

I'm like a scientist. In Compton.

I'm off to express myself.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

viva la wrinkle resistance

NOT that it's any of your business, but I was shopping for underwear the other day. (You ARE getting personal, aren't you?) In the underwear section, I found "wrinkle-resistant" boxers.

Trust me, I'm a HUGE fan of any clothing that will resist a wrinkle. It's amazing! I don't know what magical spell they put on the clothes, but it's SUPER helpful.

Ironing is hot and dangerous. And it NEVER comes out right. Because of the sleeves! That's the worst! If you accidentally iron a wrinkle INTO the shirt? It's there FOREVER.

I can honestly say that I've never ironed my underwear. Like, ever. I guess I never found the need. I mean...nobody sees it, right?

Well, some people might see a little. I wear my pants kinda baggy, so the underwear peeks out the top. Not because I think it's cool. It's just way more comfortable that way. And because I can't afford a belt.

So are people looking at my undies saying, "Oh My Gosh! Do you see the wrinkles on those underwears? I bet he never irons them. Probably doesn't iron his socks either. How can somebody leave the house looking so unsmooth?!"

How long can an ironed pair of underwear actually stay smooth? Don't you sit down? You HAVE to sit at least ONCE in a day, right? Isn't that going to wrinkle them?!

I just don't get it! Nor do I see the need. I'm not going to walk around in my undies at a fancy party.

Unless it's a fancy underwear party. Then I guess it's important. If there is one, I'm ready. Because I bought the undies. What can I say? I love a lack of wrinkles!

I'm off to iron my undies.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj

combine them all for easy use

I found a beverage that has a COMBINED serving of fruit and vegetables. Legally, I am supposed to have 2 cups of fruit and 3 cups of vegetables every day. 

If I do not, I get slapped by a cruciferous vegetable.

Cruciferous always makes me think iron is having a bad day. Luckily, every time we're missing an r, iron lives another day!

No, not because it's ion. This is more of a chemistry joke than an electron joke.

It's funny...really...well, I mean, if I have to explain it, it's not funny. Just trust me, somebody will like it!

So, in theory, we need 5 servings of both during the day. This beverage counts as one COMBINED serving. So...I guess...half of each?

I have no idea how to follow the servings rule after that. Therefore, we need a new system. ALL fruits and veggies will be combined!

Now you can enjoy some yummy garlemons! Maybe throw some carricots in your salad! Or snack on some zuccananas!

This makes life so much easier! Have 5 fruiggies in the day and you can avoid a slapping!

...

You're still annoyed by my joke earlier, aren't you. Look, don't blame me for the confusion. Blame Faraday! If he didn't start using the term "ion" when he was playing with electrodes, it would have died with the Greeks and we wouldn't even THINK that's what I meant by the missing r! We would just have to worry about the Latin root for ferrous!

This would be so much easier if I knew how to make sense.

I'm off to drink a fruiggie.

Enjoy Everything.

-dj